Soup Is Not Good Food

Oh Yeah

Kevin was mid-way through his Sunday evening livestream when a message popped up on the screen to his right.
"I'm so sorry, I actually like soup. Please forgive me."
His first instinct was to feign disgust, but he caught himself just in time. His audience expected a certain reaction from him and he liked playing up to it, but he had to be careful. So instead he replied, "You know what, if you like it then you go ahead, that's absolutely fine." He glanced up at the camera for a moment. He couldn't resist. "You're allowed to be wrong." he smirked. He would probably pay for that later, but it was worth it.

It was exhausting, constantly reigning himself in. He may have had a genuine hatred of soup, but he enjoyed the jokes it spawned and he knew his chat had fun with it as well. Why should he spoil their fun just because some strange person with no sense of humour had laid down an edict. Granted said person had the ability to make Kevin's life very difficult, but he still chafed under the agreement he had signed. Had been coerced into signing, really.

An hour later Kevin slouched down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was not surprised to see a small grey-haired man sat at the table, his hands clasped primly in front of him. He leaned against the counter and waited for the man to speak.

"I gather you know why I'm here?" the man asked.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. He wasn't going to behave like a naughty child in his own house, playing the supplicant. Instead he met the Soup Fairy's falsely inquisitive stare with a frank look of his own.

"You've been pushing it for a while now, Kevin. I think it's time we had a conversation."

"What do you mean I've been pushing it?" Kevin did a good impression of indignation, but he knew exactly what the Soup Fairy was referring to.

He had almost managed to convince himself that their first encounter had been the product of an over-active imagination. That was, at least, until he had made a reference to starving being preferable to soup in one of his videos. Everything had been fine while he was recording it. His editor hadn't run into any issues and there were no ominous booms of thunder when he uploaded the video. It wasn't until it went live that the Soup Fairy had decided to pay a visit to remind him of their contract. Kevin had stumbled downstairs in much the same manner as he had done now, looking for food after a livestream, to find him sat at the table, waiting.

The resulting lecture was not pleasant.

"I gave you several chances. I could have stepped in as soon as you made the note to include it, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt," the Soup Fairy said, each word dangerously precise. "Instead you completely disregarded an agreement you signed and -"

"Oh come on, it was clearly a joke," Kevin interrupted, his voice raising a pitch. "You're being ridiculous!"

The Soup Fairy silenced him with a hard glare.

"I was just going to give you a warning," he said. "But I don't think you are taking this seriously."

It had taken two days of shouting various soup-related insults at thin air, then apologies and eventually pleading, before his tormentor had relented. In those two days every attempt to procure a non-soup food was thwarted. The irony was not lost on him, just really fecking annoying.

He had managed to tune out most of the Soup Fairy's current lecture.

"- it is the constant negative attitude," he was saying.

"What do you mean negative attitude?" Kevin asked, coming out of his reverie. "I haven't said anything negative about soup in ages."

The man raised his eyebrows at Kevin.