Choosing how to love.

Whiskey drowns the misery.

He sat at the farthest, darkest end of the bar, in that space no one wanted to sit in for fear they would be forgotten, but tonight, that was what he hoped for. To be lost. He did not want to be bothered, by anyone, for any reason. He just wanted to sit in the dark while he enjoyed a few drinks and calmed down.

He had just had a major fight with his girlfriend Carla, or at least he thought she was still his girlfriend. The woman was becoming more of pain in his ass than it was worth. He never knew what each day was going to bring with her, and it was not in a good way.

They had called it quits already twice this month, and it was only 10 days in. The first time, she had called the next day and said she was sorry and that she loved him to the ends of the earth, and he believed her. The second time, he had apologized after a huge yelling match, and she took him back. It seemed the arguments were coming more often, and the apologizes were less heartfelt, but they caved easily and took each other back.

Carla was beautiful and the perfect girlfriend, at least on the outside. And damn, the sex was outstanding, but it was becoming more of a relationship of convenience, and he knew it. When it came right down to it, he needed the release, and well, she enjoyed all the finer things in life, things that he could provide to her. No, he gave her. She stuck out her perfectly manicured hand, and he gave her the cash or credit cards without a thought.

Two hours ago, that changed. She wanted to go to her normal expensive spa day with her girlfriends, and he was willing to pay, until he overheard them talking about getting massages from Luis. He was not the jealous kind, especially with her, but when she had mentioned getting a wax on her girl parts before the massage, so Luis' hands would slide over her easier there, Holton put his foot down.

He remembered the conversation like it was five minutes ago and replayed it in his mind.

"What do you mean needing a wax for him?" Holton growled. "Oh Holton, it just means I want to be fresh there, for when he rubs my upper thighs. It's embarrassing for there to be hair." She laughed, but he did not.

"Carla, you don't need to get a wax for a massage. That is ridiculous. Keep your panties on." "No. Luis likes it when I am naked. His motto is, no material in the way of pleasure." She giggled, which only fueled Holton's anger.

"What kind of place is this?" His voice got louder as his anger started to take hold. "It's a spa Holton. Luis is my regular guy, and he has hands that melt all the tension away. I need it." "You don't need it. You want it. There is a difference." "Just give me your damn card and don't worry about it." She groaned and that had set him off.

"Carla, you do not need a naked massage from Luis. You are my girlfriend, and I say no." "Holton, quit being an ass. Just give me the $600 so I can get waxed today and then do the spa tomorrow."

What did she think he was, a bank? "No." "Yes." "No." He growled, and she looked right at him. "You can give me the cash, or I will get it another way. My monthly massage is my business. I need this. It helps me relax." She yelled at him in that screechy voice, which made his skin crawl.

"I can relax you." He tried, hoping to defuse the situation and not fight. "Not like Luis. Your hands are too rough, and you do not touch me in the right places. Seriously Holton, just give me the money and leave it." She rolled her eyes and the fire spread through him further.

"You are my girlfriend Carla, and I say no. No more Luis." He said through gritted teeth. "Holton. I am not playing." She stomped her foot and held out her hand. "Neither am I. No." "HOLTON!" "Carla. No. End of story." He crossed his arms and she shot him a glare that was icy cold.

"FINE! FUCK YOU! I will just go get it elsewhere. I don't need your shit!" She slammed the door and then her friend followed quietly out behind her, as he stood in the middle of the living room and fumed. He started to go after her, but decided he was too exhausted to bother. He got in his car and drove to the bar. The one place she would not bother him.

Now he was sitting in the darkest spot, a glass of whiskey in his hand, and half a mind to call her and tell her to screw herself. Who did she think she was? He knew exactly who, but he was done being her paycheck.

He drained the glass and held it up for him bartender to get him another. He probably should have taken a cab tonight because they tasted way too good, and he knew he was not going to stop until he felt better.

The bartender gave him a sweet smile and asked if he wanted something else and he dismissed her with a shake of his hand. Not tonight sweetheart, he thought to himself. Not tonight. Tonight, it is just me and this glass of whiskey. 

****

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