Choosing how to love.

Realization

Maddy

Craig had not left Maddy's side since the moment they had returned to camp, and currently they were cuddled by the fire. Maddy had noticed that Holton had sat on the other side away from them, and she wondered what happened between them. Was it a fight? And over what? Was it really to do with her?

She did not have much time to worry though, because someone broke out the radio and whiskey. And after a few shots and some singing, everyone was up enjoying the party and she had forgotten all about the boys and their issues.

Maddy danced with Craig, then Dave, and made her way around to Holton. "Oh no, you keep that body over there in the safe zone." Holton held up his hands and stopped her.

"Think I might dance better than you too?" "Yes, and I am perfectly ok with that." "Afraid?" "Yes." "Of me?" "Yes." He was grinning and she could not help but match his smile.

"You stay over there with your boyfriend." "Why?" She questioned and he gave her a look, which she suddenly understood. All of it made sense. The glances, the touches, he did like her. Oh God.

She looked up and he winked as if understanding she had figured it out. "Yes." He whispered and she smiled. "Ok. Well, you are still my friend and friends dance." She held out her hand and he looked around her, then nodded, but still chose not to move.

"I don't dance." "Learn." She laughed as she danced around him and then joined Lacy in a semi correct version of Queens Don't, which made everyone laugh, as she moved away from him.

The alcohol flowed freely, the music was loud, and everyone was having an amazing time. This is what she lived for, nights with friends, loud music, and happiness.

HOLTON

Maddy was absolutely beautiful as she danced around the fire and sang. Her voice was sweet, Lacy's was not, but together, they made that song work. He watched her, no he admired her. She was carefree and happy, and it did not matter who was watching or what was happening, she was just there enjoying it. And not for the first, or probably the last time, he wished it were his arms that she was dancing into.

It was not though, and he had to accept that. Every time she made it around the fire, she turned into Craig. He got a kiss, a little wiggle of her body, then she was off again as he laughed. Holton got a few words to whatever song was on and occasionally one of her sweet smiles. Never a touch, he made sure of that.

How could he have been so stupid not to grab her up? Why didn't he make a move? Because there was Carla, and then the disdain she had given him at lunch...which wasn't dislike at all...it was her thinking he liked Lacy. He should have set her straight. He should have called her. He didn't though, and now, she was dancing a slow song in Craig's arms, and he was holding her while she was pressed against him.

Holton knew Craig was better for her. Craig would be honest and faithful, something he wasn't. And as he exhaled out, he knew he could have been, for her. No, Craig will love her. His heart raced at the thought of someone else having her love. He could have loved her. He would have in and instant. Then his chest tightened and his entire body called out...and he knew, right there, he already did.

With that, he walked away from the fire, from her. He needed darkness, time alone. He needed to clear his head and dump this stupid idea that his heart was giving him. She would never love him anyway. He was rough and completely not her type. She needed soft and sweet. She needed a man that bow to her every need, and that was not him.

Even away from the light of the party, and the noise, he could hear her laughing and it tugged at his soul. How could he...no, it was just his mind wanting what it could not have. It does this all the time. He shook off the feelings and walked to the playground where he found a swing to be alone for a while.