The Sympathy Screw | 18+

Chapter 2 - Laying Down the Law

A few minutes later, I curled up beside my husband on the bed with my arm around him and my head on his muscular chest. I thought back to poor Bob and his family. Listening to Andrew's strong, steady heartbeat, I told him, "Please don't ever die before me. I love you so much. I don't know if my heart could take it."

"What would you miss most about me if I died? Besides the love we have, I mean." Andrew asked, grinning down at me.

I shrugged. "I don't know; your companionship ranks pretty high. I mean, you're my best friend, Andrew."

"I'm glad that's important to you, but you have other friends, baby."

Smiling, I told him, "True, even though it still wouldn't be the same. None of my girl friends would geek out to sci-fi and comics with me like you do. And I don't want to hang out with your crude guy friends."

"So what else?" he asked, staring at me like I was his petulant child.

With a laugh, I said, "Probably the sex. If nothing else, because you're supposed to wait a year - or more - after your spouse dies before you get involved with anyone else."

"What if we defined a set of rules around it so that you'd have my permission to have sex within the first few months after I died? Or I'd have yours if you died before me."

I frowned and gave him a smack on his chest. "What if I don't want to give my permission?"

"Vi, if I needed your permission, you'd be dead, anyways. Would you really hold it against me if I wanted a little some-some?" Andrew waggled his eyebrows at the end and I had to laugh.

"But what if you're misinformed? Who's to say that I'm really dead?" I argued.

"Okay, so that's rule number one, then. See, that wasn't so hard."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's rule number one?"

"Must have concrete proof of death. No lost at sea scenarios or burned beyond recognition. No body, no nookie. Oh - and no comas; the other person has to be dead-dead, no hope of possible resuscitation."

I let out a breath. "Okay, fine, you want to play this game? Really?"

"Yes," he replied with that devious grin, clutching me tighter.

"Okay, so it can't be someone who knew me. I don't want to feel like someone I thought was my friend was benefiting from - or even happy about - the fact that I died."

"Agreed. I wouldn't want you banging one of my buddies, either. Even if I know Todd's been wanting to get up in there ever since he stayed the night and caught a glimpse of you coming out of the shower."

As I turned my face to Andrew again, I couldn't hide the disgusted surprise on my face if I tried, "Ew, honey. Todd? Really?"

Andrew closed his eyes as if he were drifting off, but I could tell he was just enjoying the peaceful moment between us. "Hand to God, babe. I think he saw your ass out the back of your towel." He nodded as he added, "You know how great that ass is."

I nearly choked laughing. "Okay, well it's not someone who knows us both, but it probably shouldn't be someone random, either. I feel like it should be planned out - before the other person dies, instead of in the heat of the moment during grief."

"So, how would that work?" Andrew scowled and I saw the muscle in his jaw tick. "You're just going to go up to this mystery guy who doesn't know me at work next Monday and say, 'Hey, John, you want to fuck me when my husband kicks the bucket? 'Cause I'm down for that.'"

Andrew was serious, but his response only forced more laughter out of me. "No, idiot! I wouldn't do that! We will just have to keep it to ourselves. But maybe make a list of two or three people to choose from, in case the person turns me down."

Opening his eyes and leaning down to look at me, Andrew said, "Like that's ever going to fucking happen, babe. No guy is going to turn you down, Vi.  I mean, c'mon, you're a beautiful woman asking a guy to have sex with you.  Who's going to say no to that?  Because we're guys."

"You did.  On our first date," I told him.

"Well, that's only because I was playing the long game with you. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't think I'd get another chance."

"Still," I said, "It'd be good to have a backup. What if the person is in a relationship we don't know about?"

"Fine. Make a list of three people. Tomorrow morning. I don't want to know them, but I have to approve of them." He paused, then added, "But you only have sex with one person."

I nodded. "Okay, fine. But you have to make a list, too. And we can change the list as time goes by, too."

"Sure, consider it done. And they can't live close. There's going to be too much grief at play. This has to be almost like a rebound. No forming a relationship with one of these dudes. This is just about the physical. Get in, get laid, get out."

"What's close?" I asked.

"The person must live at least an hour's drive away. The further the better, though. No attachments. You'll be too much of a fucking mess after I'm gone."

I scowled. "God, Andrew, I hate how you're almost so casual about dying. Or my misery about you dying."

"Babe, admit it, you'd be broken if you couldn't get my cock at least once a week."

With that, I felt almost as if I had enough. I took the pillow beside me and lobbed it at Andrew's face.

Andrew blocked the pillow with his hands and pulled it from me. "C'mon, Vi, you know a joke when you hear one! I know we're about more than just the sex!  But admit it, we have a good thing going here. Both of us."

"We do, Andrew. We really do.  And I really hope we never have to worry about any of this."

A few more minutes passed in silence, just letting us soak in the warmth of each other's arms.  Just had sex or not, I couldn't be happier just being there with the man I loved.

"So what's the time table on all this?" I asked, "I mean, I get that it shouldn't be a long-term thing and that eventually I'd probably need to move on to something healthier - or just decide never to be in another romantic relationship again.  But if I was actually going to do this, would I have to, like, rush out of the hospital as soon as the coroner calls time of death and meet the guy within the first twenty-four hours? Because if so, you know I would never do that."

Andrew rubbed my back again. "Of course not, Vi. You know this is all probably just theoretical, anyways. How about two months, maybe three?  After that, we could see that one person, as needed, for the next year after death, but then we would take our time to grieve properly before getting involved with anyone else."

"Three months," I agreed, "It would take me awhile to work up the courage to even ask someone else for something like this. I'd need some time."

"Okay, so we'll both make our lists in the morning and then we'll each approve the other's list."

I gulped past the lump in my throat. Were we really writing this stuff down?  I didn't want to even think about Andrew dying.  And even if I knew he was right about me not being an option, I wasn't comfortable with him having sex with someone other than me.  I wanted to be his number one choice, because he would always be mine.

 "And Andrew, I want to see photos. They can't be prettier than I am. I don't want you benefiting from - or even looking forward to - when I die, either."

~-~-~

Author's notes:

Maybe not about sex, but do you have any contingency plans in place for when you die, either for you or your loved ones?

Sorry to say that I don't have a theme song that I could find that would fit this particular chapter.  Anyone have any ideas?