I felt disconnected. I tried to pray, study the Bible, worship, and sing praises to God. I really tried, but I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't flowing or connecting with God like how I felt I should.
Prayer was most especially a struggle. It's like I wanted to pray, but at the same time I didn't. I don't even know how to explain it, I just felt disconnected from God and I hated that feeling. I was finding it really hard to pray and have my quiet time in general, and yes this was long after I got born again but I just didn't feel the desire to communicate with God. I'm not sure if desire is the right word because I actually wanted to, or let me say my spirit wanted to but my flesh didn't. I guess that's when I understood the statement "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
That was my struggle.
I wanted to spend time with God, but my flesh was really warring with my spirit and at that point in time, it felt like my flesh was winning. But then, I didn't give in to my flesh. I talked to God about it and prayed about it, then the Holy Spirit brought a song titled 'I will sing' by Don Moen to my memory. I listened to the song over and over again because I related to it so much, and I meditated on the lyrics of the song and sang it out loud. I also came across a verse in the Bible, Philippians 2:13 which says "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." (NLT)
When I first saw this verse, it stuck with me and I really liked it, but I didn't really meditate on it until I was talking to some of my friends about what I was going through, then one of them shared this verse with me again. That's when the verse really hit me and I meditated on it. From that moment, I realised that the Lord constantly gives us the power and the desire to do what He pleases, and some of the things that please God is communicating with Him, praying, studying the word, and worshipping Him. So anytime the flesh is feeling weak and tired, God will surely arouse the desire and the strength we need to pray.
Hence, I stopped depending on my flesh, and anytime I wanted to pray or have my quiet time and I felt weak or disconnected, I recited that verse, confessed it, and believed it, and I received strength from God.
So in case you are currently struggling with this, the message I have for you today is this: Rely on God. He has given you the Holy Spirit to guide and help you. He has given you all you need for life and godliness(2 Peter 1:3), which means that you have all you need to live a godly life and you also have the power to do all that He wants you to do. Therefore, win that battle with your flesh, subject it to your spirit, and the Lord will continue to help you.
Also, I will recommend that you have an accountability partner, that is, someone you are accountable to, someone who encourages you in your walk with God, someone you can freely talk to concerning your spirituality. And incase you don't have one, you can always send me a message and I'll be more than happy to help you.
Most of all, rely on the Holy Spirit. He is always there to help you pray, study the word, and guide you.
May God bless everyone of us and help us in our walk with Him in Jesus name. Amen.
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Faith, Hope, Wisdom
SpiritualIf you are struggling with your walk with God, want to know more of God, understand more of what He is saying through His word or have some questions about your Christian life, this is the book for you! The purpose of this book is to encourage you w...
