After much longing, I have forgotten you

In this love you are like a knife, with which I explore myself

A long time from now, if you were to look for me

then my words would be, "I have forgotten you."

If you were to inwardly reproach me

"After much longing, I have forgotten you."

If you were to still reproach me

"I have forgotten you because I could not believe it."

I have not forgotten you today nor yesterday and

a long time from now, then, "I have forgotten you."

Kim Sowol, A Long Time From Now

I missed you

Tae Eul ran quickly down the stairs of her home towards the courtyard. Her heart urged her to hurry because she was running out of time. Her steps resonated loud against the cold metal staircase. She was feeling dizzy, as if she could faint at any moment.

Her gray sneakers trampled on the few dry leaves that the wind didn't sweep away, that delicate crack seemed to attract the attention of the man in front of her.

She recognized him right away from his dark and hideous clothes, he was the stranger who haunted all her dreams in the last eight months. His shoulders were slumped, defeated from a heavy burden, and he seemed exhausted.

She was overwhelmed by the need to make sure he was all right. Although she didn't understand where that feeling came from since she didn't know him at all.

Even now that she was in front of him, she couldn't see his face. The steps that separated them were a few, yet that small distance seemed insurmountable, as if there was something vaster to divide them.

Her legs were as paralyzed as she was aching for him, her whole body was on fire by the desire of reaching him. She didn't ask for much, it would be enough to see a glimpse of his face or to know his name.

She just wanted to understand why his presence brought her on the verge of tears, the reason why the emptiness within her widened over time and swallowed her whole.

The only thing Tae Eul knew was how soft and full of pain his voice was. She got chills running down her body every time he pleaded her to wait for him. Her traitorous body cried yes, while her mind was confused. She didn't understand why her body reacted that way, their separation really affected her that much?

Sometimes he said things she couldn't fully understand, they made no sense, or he just asked her if she had been well. That's the one she hated the most, how dare he mock her like that? How could be she fine if he was the reminder that something was wrong. How could she be fine if her life was filled by his absence?

But there was something in the way he murmured that simple question that sent her into confusion, there was a devotion she wasn't used to. Like he cared about her when nobody truly did. Not that she needed someone to look after her, she was perfectly capable of doing it on her own.

She was a detective in the Violent Crimes Division of the National Police Agency, her persona was basically identified with her profession. She was brave, straightforward, independent and confident.

She might appear rude or cold or not be very affectionate, but she would do anything for the few people she cared about. In her own way, she took care of all the people around her. She made sure that Eun Seob wouldn't get into trouble, that her father wouldn't make reckless purchases and that her hoobaes at work wouldn't make disasters. She was used to look after men in her life.