Loving you broken

 At least until I heard a familiar voice calling my name. “Terry is that you?” Raven pulled away from me and turned around. There stood Sherri. I was able to look at her without feeling such rage, thank God. I turned around and simply said “yeah it’s me." I felt Raven staring at me so I grabbed her hand in mine. “That’s funny I was just talking about you Sherri.” Raven looked down and saw a little boy in a stroller and realized who she was. Just then she put her body in front of mine and kissed me again. “I’ll let you handle your business. Meet me in the car I don’t want to get my hair wet.” I smiled at her and watched her walk away. “Wow. She’s pretty” Sherri said as she watched Raven walk away as well. “I know.” There was an awkward silence for a second and then Sherri spoke up and said “I am so sorry for hurting you Terry. You were really good to me. I traded you in for someone with so many kids it doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t worth it. Could you ever forgive me? Could you ever accept my son here look at hi..” “STOP Sherri. I don’t want to see him. Did you forget you made me believe that he was mine? For four months! Four months I was calling him my Jr. Thinking that was my seed. You played me. You made me lose my job Sherri. You messed up my life. NO I don’t forgive you! I feel sorry that the little boy has such a selfish mother. Get out my face and get that little boy out of the damn rain. What’s wrong with you? You’re going to get him sick” I couldn’t look at her much longer so I just walked towards Ravens car. “You okay Terry?” I just kept looking out the window. I didn’t know what to say. Where to start. Nothing. So I just watched Sherri walk away with that little boy in the stroller. Raven began to talk and said “I am so sorry I never took the time to even ask what your story was. I was so caught up in trying to not like you that I wanted to push you away.” Then she pulled me close to her and placed my head on her chest. She whispered in my ear and said “you look sexy when you’re mad. Did you know that?” I couldn’t help but smile. Sherri never told me that before. I didn’t know that. I gave her the run down with me and Sherri. I loved her, wanted to marry her, I moved, she cheated, I found out she was pregnant, she made me believe it was mine, it wasn’t, it was over. Raven didn’t ask for much more detail than that and I was glad. I didn’t want to go into that again. “Honestly Raven I thought I would have kept my cool when I saw her, but she pissed me off. She tried to show me that little boys face and I just couldn’t man.” “That is completely understandable sweetheart. That’s a huge step to do! You have to remove your emotions before you can really just look at him and that’s okay. Just give yourself some time and space. I’m sure you’ll be okay.” “What is your full story though? I know you said you got lied to, cheated on, beat on? How did that happen?” “Tonight is about you love. Well talk about that tomorrow.” I didn’t have a problem with that. I didn’t have much to say after that anyway. I told her I was going to call it a night and that I wanted her to let me know when she made it home. It was 11pm and I still hadn’t heard from Raven yet. I wanted so bad to enjoy her kissing me, but all I could think about was Sherri. Now all I can think about is what Raven was doing. I decided to calm down and get a beer from my fridge. 30 minutes later I was knocked out and I actually slept better than I thought I would. The next morning I got a call from Raven telling me to get dressed. We weren’t a couple or anything, and I didn’t want to question her, but I was wondering what she was doing when we left. Wondering why she didn’t call. I brushed it off because I knew I was trippin. It was too soon to be worried about all that. Instead I was trying to ask her what I was getting dressed for, but she wouldn’t tell me. I ended up meeting her at the beach again and we went for a jog. Although it had just rained last night it was beautiful outside. It was 11 in the morning and she looked beautiful. I loved her natural hair. How it bounced every time she moved and how soft it looked. She saw me staring at her and smiled. I stopped jogging and she did the same “what’s wrong? You can’t keep up?” “Why did you kiss me last night?” “Which time?” “Both” “Well I felt like everything you were saying was true about me. I didn’t really give you the time of day and I was rude to you even though you were nice to me. When I felt like I lost your attention I realized that I actually liked you bothering me.” I laughed at her and said “okay and then the last time?” “Oh, that was me being petty. I wanted that female to realize what she lost” “so what, you realized what she lost?” she started to smile a little and then she took off running. I caught up with her and gently tackled her on the warm sand. She looked at me and said “You seem like the complete opposite of what I thought you were.” “Oh really? How’s that” “You’re a lot more of a softy” she laughed and tried to get away from me but I grabbed her and dumped her into the beach water. We couldn’t stop laughing. I enjoyed being with her, but I had to go to work in a few hours. We said our goodbyes and I told her I’d call her at 10 when I got off work and to already be dressed because I was taking her somewhere. I tried to pick her up from her place, but she wouldn’t let me. I didn’t take it too personal, but I told her that she better not be late and to not go inside until I get there. When I saw her she had on a red fitted dress with black heels and her hair pressed out. I didn’t realize how long her hair was. It went down to the middle of her back. It was so hard for me to keep my eyes off her as I was driving. I almost hit two cars and a tree messing around with her. She noticed and laughed. I gave her a hug and she leaned back in and said “wow, you smell really good. What is that?” “Its Gucci baby” she looked at me and gave me a smirk. I winked my eye at her and escorted her into the building. She looked around and I could tell that she didn’t recognize where we were. “Where are we?” she asked. I didn’t answer. I just kept walking because she would soon find out. When we got inside she was in awe. It was a jazz spot my sisters told me about a few months back and everyone was in what looked like a ballroom singing and dancing. There were huge chandeliers, a buffet, a bar, a stage, and a dance floor. We danced and ate and about two hours had passed. I noticed her checking her phone for the time three times in one hour. When 12 hit she told me she had to go and would call me tomorrow. She kissed me on the cheek and ran out like Cinderella. I was confused. I started thinking that maybe I was moving too fast so I decided to give her some space the next day. In actuality it’s like she was giving me space. I hadn’t heard from her all day. Then at 10 at night she sent me a picture of her smiling and said she was thinking about me. It made no sense! I was starting to really get suspicious because I responded asking her if I could come by and she never texted back. I called and it went straight to voicemail. I felt like Raven was playing games again. So I gave her one last attempt and invited her to come with me to the Coca Cola factory. I know it sounds childish but I had never went! I always wanted to and I loved coke. She accepted my offer but said she had something to do by 6 so we would have to go early. I didn’t question her. We met up and she seemed happy but all I was thinking about was how sneaky she had seemed to be being. She gave me a hug and I hugged her back and were ready to go inside. She made a quick phone call before she went in and told me she would be behind me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but I sure was getting pissed off. When she came inside the tour started and we drank all kinds of coke. We actually had fun. We took a picture together but she wouldn’t let me see her phone to look at it. She said she would just send it to me. That was the last straw for me. It was clear something was up. I didn’t know what, but I didn’t care to know anymore. I was done. As beautiful as she was I wasn’t going to be played again. I could have just stayed with Sherri’s lying ass if that was the case.

I hadn’t heard from Raven until two days after we left from the Coca Cola factory. She texted me asking her to meet her somewhere but I didn’t respond. I had invited Sherri over to talk instead. She came by and kept telling me how much she liked my spot. Thankfully she came without the little boy. I was surprised when she offered to cook something for me. She made me fish, mac and cheese, and corn on the cob. It was good, but I still didn’t like her. I invited her over because I thought about having sex with her. I knew Raven wasn’t gonna let me smash but Sherri was desperate. She wanted me to forgive her so bad and I knew she’d do anything I wanted anyway. She started kissing on my neck and then my chest. And to be honest all I could think about was that this is probably how she got pregnant by Red’s brother. I stopped her from kissing me and just looked at her face. I was honestly no longer attracted to the person she became. I sat her down next to me and said “Sherri I loved you. I was faithful to you too. I was no dog to you, and I will never understand why you did what you did, but I want to forgive you for it. I just need time. I don’t hate you and I don’t hate that little boy either. I just can’t be a part of everything you have going on. Maybe one day we can be friends, well we probably will never be friends, but maybe we can be associates. I just think you being over here is a mistake. The food was great, but you need to go. I wanted you over here honesty so I could have sex with you, but I haven’t been horny the whole time you’ve been here.” I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings but I was being honest. I noticed tears in her eyes and before I could tell her not to cry she did. “I wish I wasn’t so stupid Terry. I love you. I just missed you so much so I did stuff I shouldn’t have. I miss you Terry. Anthony and I aren’t even together. We broke up 2 months after the baby was born. That’s why I wanted so badly for it to be yours. I’m sorry I did that to you.” She starting crying on my chest but I had on a white shirt. I didn’t want her make up all over it so I told her I’d go get her some tissue and id walk her to her car. I went to my room to change my shirt and to get some tissue for her. When I walked to the living room with my shirt halfway on I saw Raven and Sherri mugging the hell out of each other. Sherri walked over to me and grabbed the tissue out of my hand and rubbed my chest. Then she said “thank you baby” and walked towards the door. I didn’t know what to do. It looked so bad and Raven was crazy I didn’t know how she would react. Surprisingly she looked at me and said “I know we aren’t together, but after all the time we spent together I never thought you’d play me too” “play you? Raven you’ve been suspicious as hell lately! You don’t talk to me for days. You cut our dates short. You won’t let me touch your phone. What the hell is going on with you?” “DON’T TURN THIS ON ME TERRY! It’s not even what you think it is. But THIS!? This looks exactly like what I think it is. Take her desperate ass back.” “Raven I don’t even like her. Sherri you should go” Sherri looked surprised at how my feelings for her were gone. As she was walking closer towards the door she glared at Raven and then stopped walking. “Do you know Anthony?” Raven looked her up and down and said “Why?” “Because I know I have seen you before. Your face looks familiar.” “Do you know him Raven?” I asked. “Yes Terry. That’s what I was going to tell you. The reason I have been acting like that is because ..” Sherri cut her off and said “YOU’RE THE EX ANTHONY CANT SEEM TO GET OVER. YOU’RE THE REASON HE BARELY WILL SEE HIS SON. HES SO CAUGHT UP IN IMANI, HE WONT GIVE HIS OWN SON THE TIME OF DAY” Raven looked at her confused. Then she looked at me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but it seemed like Sherri did. “Raven, do you have a child?” I asked. “Yes. I didn’t tell you because I was waiting for the perfect time. I wanted you to eventually meet her. But her father has problems with letting her go. And obviously letting me go. When I’m out with you she’s with his mother. It’s the same guy who cheated and beat on me. I had a child by him before he became abusive. I don’t talk to him anymore, but I am still close with his mother and sisters. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. But what does that have to do with anything?” I should my head in disbelief and said “because Raven. It just so happens that you and Sherri share more in common than just me. You both have kids by the same dude. Red’s brother Anthony.” Nobody moved. Nobody said a thing. Just as fast as I had hope it went away even faster. I think I’m going to have to talk to Reds brother, Anthony