Your Fine

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest

The moment I set foot in the school, my mind begins to race. Am I walking weird? I feel like I might be walking weird. Why are they laughing? Are they laughing at me? He looked at me before turning back to them and laughing. Is my hair a mess? Do I look fat?

I probably do. I instinctively suck in my gut, and try to stand a little straighter. I'm seriously jealous of all the girls at my school who can eat anything and everything they want, and still stay as skinny as a rail.

There are people everywhere. Sweaty boys racing through the halls, the stereotypical popular girls huddled in a circle talking about whatever popular girls talk about. I wouldn't know what normal girls talk about, but based on the countless girly movies I've seen, I can only imagine that they are discussing what Brad and Chelsey did at last nights party. There are the high-end intellectuals, who tend to gravitate towards one another, the kids who pride themselves in being absolute idiots, the quiet kids, the sporty ones, the art geeks. You name it, and there is, without a doubt, a kid at my school who does it.

I lift my hood and push my hair into my face, so my greasy, acne-prone skin is hidden. A bead of sweat rolls down my forehead. Oh, great. How wonderful. I sweat profusely when I'm anxious or nervous in any way. And right now, I am. I despise waking through these hallways. It always feels like someone is staring at me. Or everyone. What if everyone is staring at me? I try to push that thought out of my head.

I practically kick open the doors to the auditorium. I am so relieved to finally be in the safety of first period, the only class I enjoy. This class, and its after school activities, are my escape from my problems. My escape from life. I tend to forget that I have crippling social anxiety when I step onto that stage. I'm with people who I actually like, and who seem to actually like me. Its awesome.

"Ahhh welcome, welcome!" Mrs. Tarnum's voice echoes through the open room.

"Hi." I muster with a wave.

"Have a seat, wherever you like." 

"Okay."

Jesus Christ. It's just Mrs. Tarnum. Why am I having such a hard time talking. And to her of all people.

I plop down in the front row, and scope out the rest of the auditorium. No one else is here yet. I settle into my seat and close my eyes. It's so quiet in here. No yelling idiots. It's nice.

I feel a pair of cold hands grip my shoulders. I shriek and whirl my head around.

I exhale in relief. It's Liam.

"Jesus fucking Christ. You scared the crap outta me!" I huff.

Liam smiles and slides over the chairs and seats himself next to me.

"Wassup B."

I grin.

"Sup T."

Liam is pretty much my best friend. We met back in sixth grade and have been inseparable since. We have the same interests, similar hobbies, same taste in music. We're the same person, just gender swapped.

"Glad to see you made it out of bed this morning."  He jokes, fishing through his bag for a pencil.

"Oh yea so funny."

He smiles. It makes me smile. 

The countless empty seats soon flicker to life as more and more people pile into the auditorium. Mrs. Tarnum is standing dead center of the stage with a music stand that has some sort of packet of paper on it. A new script, maybe?

Chatter fills the room. I don't purposefully listen to other people's conversations, but I do tend to hear keywords that spark my attention. It's how I learn about anything that may be going on at school. And according to Marisa, a tall, thin, black haired girl with heavy makeup and huge tits, her boyfriend, David, is having a  Halloween party Saturday. How fun.

I look over to Liam. He is staring straight at his phone with the biggest grin on his face. Dear god, what is he up to? I peer over his shoulder to investigate.

He notices my nosiness and twists his torso and arms in his chair so his phone is out of my view. 

"Hey let me see!" I inquire. 

"Don't be nosy." 

"Do you know who your saying that to? I'm the nosiest person on the planet."

Ignoring my plea, he pushes me away. I cross my arms in disappointment. He smirks.

Mrs. Tarnum stands at the front of the stage, facing out to the sea of theatre kids. She is wearing a black v-neck dress, with pumpkins and witch hat patterns scattered across the skirt, and a button top. I love her style. She always dresses in correlation to the season.

"Alright, everyone. How are we?"

Everyone turns their heads to face the stage. The room fills with tired people whimpering 'goooooooooood'.

"Okay c'mon everyone. It is time to wake up. We are going to be getting our parts for the play today, which we will perform for the school in two months. It's a relatively popular play, there is a movie for it. It's called One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Pick a character, and I will call you up one by one to audition. The second page will tell you when your character has lines. This is going to count towards your final grade by the end of third semester when we perform."

Oh, I know this one, I think. Pretty sure I've seen the movie, but I didn't know it was a play too.

Liam studies the script being handed out. An excited grin creeps across his face. I look back down at the script that was just handed to me and open it to the second page. I read the roles to myself. Chief, aid, aid, martini, Turkle, Nurse Ratched. I pause at her name. 

"I think I know who I'm going to audition for." I whisper to Liam.

"Me too." His smile stretches from one ear to the other. He must really want his part. "I'm hoping for McMurphy. Or billy. But I really, REALLY want McMurphy." He pauses and stares at his script, examining McMurphy's lines. "Oh- What about you?"

I giggle. "I'm going to audition for Nurse Ratched."

"Oooooh, really!" He twirls his head towards me. The pure glee in his voice and the genuine happiness on his face makes me smile without realizing. God, I love this boy.

"She is a really big character. She has at least one line on every page! And there's about 90 pages. But I guess McMurphy also has a ton of lines, but he's one of the best characters next to like Martini. Cause in the movie he is played by Danny DeVito."

I laugh "How do you know so much?"

He smirks. "Don't worry about it."

"I have a feeling you really like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest."

"YES!"

He stares at me with a passionate grin. His head is tilted slightly, and his eyes are staring at me like there is nothing and no one else in the world. His expression is gentle, and warm. His toes are pointed towards me, and his shoulders and arms are scrunched inwards towards his torso. 

I look him up and down and smile, before turning my attention back to my characters lines. I hope I'm not first up.