Unconditionally

chapter 8

A new chapter again, hope you like it. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I really appreciate it.

Draco Malfoy walked to the Great Hall, together with Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott, his friends were laughing together, but all the blonde boy could think about was the way his new friends had reacted on finding out he was Draco Malfoy. He would’ve expected them to leave, remembering the way he used to talk about Hufflepuffs, but they didn’t. It had really touched her how sweet the girls were to him, and of course the way Dawn had simply called him. ‘Ethelyn Malfoy.’ It sounded right.

When he sat down between Blaise and Theodore, Draco looked around the great hall, looking for Harry. He found him and they looked at each other, it took all his willpower not to smile at him. That would look weird, Draco Malfoy of all people, smiling? And if that wasn’t enough, smiling at Harry Potter? No, that should not happen.

He noticed the girls from Hufflepuff sitting together, Kiana looked over at him and gave him a small, almost unnoticeable smile, he couldn’t help but smile a little, but made sure his friends didn’t notice. They were too busy with themselves anyway to notice him, as always.

Draco finished his dinner, told his friends he would go to the library to study some more. Of course that’s not what he would be doing, he had heard a muggle song the other day, that Dawn thought fitted him perfectly, and she was right. It was perfect, and he would let the room of requirements play it for him, it was also a way to test the charms for his voice. Singing had always been something Draco liked, although almost no one knew it.

When he entered the room of requirements, it looked the same as always, except there was now an extra table with a magic musicplayer on it, playing the song ‘This is me’. He walked into the wardrobe and found a beautiful, deep blue dress, with silver diamonds around the taille. Smiling, he pulled the dress on, charming himself like he had looked this afternoon, except the highlights in her black hair now matched the colour of the dress perfectly. She walked towards the mirror in the room, and started singing along with the song that was playing.

“I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know”

She knew the song was meant differently, but it fitted her literally, she had always hid her face, not as a boy of course, she was a Malfoy after all, but the real her had always been hidden.

“This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, know
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wannabe
This is me”

This is me. The girl in the mirror is the real me, she shouldn’t be afraid to show herself, but she was. Because she knew what it would mean to let everyone know.

“Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wannabe
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wannabe
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wannabe
This is me”

At the end of the song, Ethelyn had started crying softly, and she watched how the make-up on the girl’s face in the mirror had wiped out over her whole face. It was so unfair, why couldn’t she just be herself for god’s sake?!  Of course it had to be all complicated for her, of course it had to be almost impossible to be herself. If she would tell her father about this, he would disown if not kill her, she was a disgrace for the Malfoy name, and she knew he would punish her for it, he wouldn’t care she was his own child.

She felt the need to break something, and as if on cue, the room conjured expensive looking vases on a table, which she gladly took and smashed against the wall. It felt good, and she threw another one, and another. When she finally had enough, she dropped herself on the soft couch, sobbing to herself. It was a long time since she had cried like this, she wasn’t allowed to, and it wasn’t fair.

She needed to tell Harry, and as soon as possible.

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