Captive

Going Home

SUICIDE TALK IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!! Also this is unedited so sorry>

The car ride back home was going to take about 4 hours. Spencer and I have already been driving for about 30 minutes. The car ride has been completely silent the whole time. I looked over at Spencer a couple times, but he just had his eyes fixed on the road. I needed to say something... I needed to know how he was feeling. I mean it's Spencer... the guy who never shares his emotions or asks for help. I couldn't let him feel responsible for this.. because I know how much he has been through and I know the urges he has to use again. And this event may be too much for him... who knows what he might do.

"Spence" you whispered as you put your head down. 

Spencer didn't respond he just looked over at you real quick then his eyes went back to the road. You felt the tears coming, he's never been like this and I need him right now. I just need to talk to him.. I need him to know I love him...

"Spencer p..please" you couldn't hold the tears anymore while talking to him. 

Spencer looked at you then went to pull over the car. "y/n, I can't right now.... I need to process okay so... just p..please..." he was about to say more but he just started crying. You took off your seatbelt and leaned over to hug him. He slowly put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him. It felt unrealistic being this close to him again. Spencer couldn't stop crying... I just ran my finger through his hair trying to relax him. I was about to pull away because I didn't hear crying anymore but he didn't let me go. Reid and I just stayed there for a couple minutes in silent just crying. Reid took his arms off you and sat up straight. You moved back to the passenger seat and looked up at Reid. 

"Spence I need you to talk to me please baby" I told him this time looking straight into his eyes. Spencer brought his head up and looked at you.

"y/n.. I love you so much.. more then I have ever loved anyone else. You make me feel happy, loved, overall just a better man. But when you were taken I couldn't function at all... I needed you by my side..I blamed the whole thing on myself.. y/n please don't say anything when I tell you this but..y/n I almost took my own life.. because I couldn't imagine a world without you in it... y/n I am so sorry" he finished with his head hung low and a few tears. This... what he said I could barely comprehend. Did he really almost kill himself. I tried so hard to say the right thing but I didn't even know if there was a right thing to say.

"Spence.. I don't know what else to really say except that I love you too and I can't imagine a world without you in it either. Your the reason I get up every morning. Your my shining prince armor" I giggle softly " I need you Spence okay, none of this was your fault. I mean your the reason I'm still alive right now. Spence I love you okay and I need you right now and so does little one" I smiled looking down at my stomach. I saw Spence move his head and look at my stomach, he didn't say anything though. I grabbed his hand and placed it on top of my belly. 

"Spence your kid is in here... our baby is in there and it needs you" I said looking up at him rubbing the his hand that was on my stomach. Spence finally smiled and looked at me.

" Well guess I got to get my act together now since I am going to be a dad and a husband" he said with this smile he always does Morgan calls it the white boy smile. I quickly looked up at him "husband" what does he mean husband we aren't even married yet.

"Husband" I ask with my eyebrows scrunched like Spence when he is concentrating

"Y/n like I said I can't imagine a world without you and I can't imagine a world not being married to you...y/n will you marry me" Spence said looking straight into my eyes with his huge smile. I looked up at him in shock. I grabbed his hands

"Of course Spencer" the words just slipped out, you didn't even have to think. Of course I want to marry Spence... he's the love of my life. I can't imagine a world without him. His weird facts, his obsession with halloween and star trek, his little dances he does, or the stories he always tells me, I couldn't imagine a life without that. Spencer leaned over and placed his hand on your cheeks and kissed you. This was the first time he kissed you since the whole situation. This kiss felt magical like a disney princess when they kiss their prince. Spencer moved his head and looked back down at my stomach and smiled. He put the car in drive and started driving. One hand on the steering wheel and one hand in mine. 

(Congrats you and spence got engaged!! I literally am having a writer's block if you have any ideas pleaseeeee comment them!!!