Ruby

Chapter Nine

I stared at myself in the foggy mirror. Taking in every last inch of my skin. I shook my long blonde hair so it rippled down my back until it fell straight in its place. I touched my skin - silky smooth after it's fierce exfoliation in the shower seconds before. Traced the curves of my eyebrowls, down my cheek bones  to my lips. In the mirror my sea green eyes shimmered with hints of tears. I traced down the curve of my neck - lifting my head so i could touch every ounce of flesh. I ran my fingers down my collarbone and my breasts. Then i went down the curves of my stomach , and onto the small of my back. 

This would be what I missed the most. My body.

I thought about how when i was younger, Jeremy and I had risked damage to our bodies to do the dare devilish things we had. Oh how i regreted it. I touched the small scar on my wrist and smiled. This had been when I'd fallen out of the tree.  

And that scar on to the left of my belly button...that had been from when I'd slipped off the roof of Jeremy's house.

And a burn on my palm from when we had thought it would be a good idea to play pat-the-stove-how-many-times-until-you-get-your-fingers-burnt.

Yeah - we were bloody idiots!

"Ruby! Hurry up - your gonna be late for school!" I heard my mum shout. I groaned. School meant facing the one person i least wanted to face right now.

Jeremy.

Ever since he said that he loved me - not knowing i had heard - i felt weird when i was around him. It was like suddenly Jeremy had created this wall between us. He was no longer my best friend - he was my best friend who was in love with me. Awkward much? Hello - yes!

I patted my body dry and changed into a pair of jeans, a grey and white stripped singlet and my favourite black leather jacket. After I was dressed I shook my hair again, almost fell down the steps, grabbed a bannana for breaky and flew out the door.

It was a cold morning. But however freezing it was - i could always taste the freshness in the air. It was so crispy clean - I couldn't help but be a little happier.

Until Jeremy rocks up. In what? His brand new car. And not any old car - a vamped up sporty thing with blue base lights and no roof.

"Hey Rue, wanna ride?" he pulled up next to me. I continued to walk. He continued to follow me.

"Rue! Rue wait! What's wrong?" he said.

"You," I replied curtly.

"Wait, what? Me?" Jeremy said confused. He had every right to be confused. He had no idea what emotional pressure he'd put me through. But i couldn't help but be mad at him for it anyway.

"Yes you, idiot."

"What did I do?"

"It...it doesn't matter..." I told him. I was lost for words. Did i admitt i was awake? Do i lie? Do i say anything at all?

"Oh come on Ruby, what's the matter with you?!" he said, getting defensive.

"Nothing I..."

"You know you want to tell me! What's got Rue-Rue all stressed out, huh?" he said in a baby voice which made me feel he was mocking me. He was mocking me.

"I JUST DON'T WANT TO RIDE WITH YOU, OKAY?!!" I yelled at him, and started running. But this was a stupid mistake. Because yes, Ruby, cars CAN outrun you.

"Ruby!" Jeremy yelled, "Ruby!"

"Go away Jeremy - I don't want to talk to you right now!" I told him.

Jeremy suddenly parked his car, got out and started chasing after me. Unfortuatley for me, when I ran my stupid brain decided it'd be a good time for me to fall over and land staight on my face. Yes, I did get a mouthful of dirt. Yes, Jeremy laughed. Yes, i am SO pissed at him.

"Ruby what's wrong? Why are you acting so weird!" he yelled. I got to my feet. I was enraged.

"Why are YOU acting so weird, Jeremy?!" I yelled back.

"WHAT! What have I done?!" he spat back defensively.

"What HAVEN'T you done?! You've completely gone and ruined our friendship!" at his confused look, i continued.

"If you hadn't gone and been all flirty with me when I thought you were just trying to have fun like we did before when we were kids...if you hadn't said those words...if you hadn't gone and...AND MESSED EVERYTHING UP!"

"RUBY - WHAT THE HELL?! I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!" he fought back.

"YOU LOVE ME!" I yelled back and silence fell.

It was the kind of awkwardness that consumed you. It fitted over us like a blanket - sheilding us of any other emotions other than that. I stared at him, he stared at me.

"Oh..you huh...heard...?" Jeremy cast his eyes to his feet. Suddenly I was not angry at him - but felt as if for the first time I really understood him.

So when I nodded I didn't persist to yell or scream or shout. Because really, this hadn't broken our friendship completly right? And wasn't it worth hanging on to the last remains of it?

"Ruby, I..." Jeremy said.

"I just don't understand you JJ. You go around like the shallowest jerk on the planet - telling me how you hooked up with that bitch and the other, but then you go and say that?" I spoke softly. This was not an attack - it was a confession.

"I know Rue, and I'm sorry. You know I never mean to upset you."

"Upset me?" I said confused, "Jeremy you didn't upset me. You could go around making out with every girl in school and it wouldn't upset me. It's gross - no doubt - but its your life."

More silence.

"So where do we go from here?" he said.

"School?" I said, and we both let out a small laugh.

"Seriously. I don't want to mess this up," Jeremy said.

"Well JJ, you already have," I told him quietly.

Some people would say I should have saw it coming. Should have known straight away. But the truth is - I really didn't.

So when Jeremy was kissing me, I was so dazed by the fact that it would have happened at all. To be honest - he was a good kisser. His lips were soft and tasted of peppermint. He smelt of freshly mowed grass and the salt of the sea from his early morning training at the beach/park. He had his fingers in my hair and his tounge ran softly along my lips. But eventually - I pulled away.

He did not fight the resistance. In fact, as soon as I pushed he let go. Both of us lost of words and breath, he smiled.

"Jeremy...what the hell...?" I breathed in between heavy breaths.

A smirk of a smile was spread across his face so sweet - I had to cast my eyes down for a second.

"Well, you said I already messed it up anyway..." And with that he got in his car, put the keys in the ignition and drove off on his way to school, leaving me standing - dazed and smiling - in the cool Jeremy-filled air.