No Matter What

I'll be there for you

I have been really lucky and blessed to have you in my life. No matter, how many ever relationships are broken and lost in my life, whether it's a love relationship or friendship; you have always been one such example who have always kept my faith in love and life.

It was a much needed party and night in. Everything was going fine till the time Sam said to you, "You know right she'll be devastated when you're gone?" Honestly I have no idea what will happen; and I'm not even thinking about it because I can't imagine my life without you physically present there in it. I just can't. But whenever such thought comes to my mind, the very next thought that comes is what will you do there, all by yourself. Yes, of course, definitely, we are all there for you; but everything is virtual, about which I'm very freaked out. I know you are too.

We three talked that night about every single topic under this sky. Even the fact about how much I hate sex, I even gave details of my sex life; I have no idea why I shared that. And both of you said that I'm weird. And I said, I know it.

It was past 4am. You started puking. Sam lied down, almost asleep. We came back to the room. You lied down on the floor with your face almost under the bed. And honestly I was very confused where to lie. Then I saw you looking for someone (I assumed you were looking for me 😉). I went and lied down beside you with your back towards me. The iron board fell on me. I didn't feel the pain. 😁

You held my right hand with your left and you kept pressing them after a fixed interval of time. I held your hand tighter every time. Finally after a very long time of hand holding, you turned towards me. You held my face with both your hands. I held your face with mine. We were really tired I guess, because we were resting our foreheads against each other's 😆.

Our nose touched and brushed. We were inhaling and exhaling on each other. Our lips touched. Brushed. And we kissed. A bit. Then I got really turned on and I kissed you hard. Of course you couldn't stop yourself. Somewhere at the back of mind I was very scared. Because it's you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to miss you. I don't want you to go. I want to hold you as much as I can. And now that we are kissing, I don't want to stop. With that fear I continued kissing you but with caution. And then I felt your tongue inside my mouth. And I was overwhelmed. We pulled each other closer. Then I think I stopped, because I was breathless and I was panting. You held my face and said, "You know right, that it's not about the sex. I just love you." I said, "Yes. I know. I love you too" And you asked whether I'm drunk or not, I said I'm not. I asked whether you are drunk or not. You said no. I asked whether you'll remember this or not. You said yes. And we continued kissing.

There was a time when I saw Sam's phone light on. And I freaked out. I broke the kiss. You turned to see what's happening. Once she kept the phone down and got back to sleep, we dived right in where we were. I just hope she didn't see or feel or sense anything. *fingers crossed*

Things were going out of our hands; rather our hands were wandering all over each other. That's when you said, "I think we should go to the next room". We got up and quickly left, making minimal noise as much as we could. We locked the door behind us and literally jumped on the bed. Then you said, "I thought you said that you hate sex". I smiled and said, "I thought you didn't like people touching you and caressing you and your hair." You smirked and replied, "Yeah. There are exceptions". And we continued kissing; more wildly than before. In a few minutes you took off your t-shirt and mine; and that's when I said, "You are too fast". I have no idea why I said that because I was really enjoying it. Somewhere it continuously played at the back of my head that it's you and I don't want to hurt you in any way. You heard me and stopped and said sorry. But I continued kissing you.

It's been almost a week now that you have left the country. I am immensely proud of you and happy for you. And other than job and household stuff, all I can think of is how fast I can reach you. We have always been saying this that no one will ever understand our friendship and love for each other. Because no one will understand us the way we understand each other. Over the last almost decade we have been friends, we have known each other's flaws, drawbacks, short comings and all the misunderstandings that people have tried to create between us. We have overcome all those and proved to each other and the world that nothing else matters when we trust and love each other for what we are. We have been through a lot of drama in different phases of our lives and have survived them all. We are too good a team; and we always will be.

Lastly, I can live without you, but I don’t want to. I love you. And I'll always be there for you. I'm coming to you soon, till then technologies rock!