Thorny kind of love 2 - Loose-ends

Chapter 5

Bell's POV

I open the fridge to put the carton of juice back and I can sense someone in the kitchen, SHIT! I curse under my breath and stay with my face hidden in the fridge. "Can you pass me a bottle of water, while you're in there please?" That voice, I freeze, it can't be, I slowly step back and peek out, the person is standing with his back towards me, reaching for a glass in the cabinet, his jeans hanging low around his waist, no top, and I knew that body.

What was Ben doing here, was I so drunk that I don't recall meeting him, when did he join the party, was he a friend of Hannah or someone's boyfriend, what is going on? I was beyond confused and started feeling nauseous again and it felt like my headache was back, "Uhm... is there water in the fridge?" he asks. What do I do? I wasn't ready to see Ben again, everything came rushing back, all my feelings and our past, the breakup. He walks up to the fridge, closing the door slowly, and asks "Are you ok?"

I prepare myself for something that caught me off guard and I had no idea how to act, but stare at the face that I once loved and broke my heart. I don't know how long we just stood there standing and looking at each other. Ben still looks the same, maybe a bit more gorgeous than before and his naked chest sends shivers through my body. After a while, he steps forward as if he wanted to embrace me, but I move back, as much as I missed him, I was still mad at him, not for the betrayal or breakup, but for the fact that he just accepted the breakup and didn't try to fight for our relationship.

"What are you doing here?" was the only words I could think of and that came out of my mouth. He looks at me confused and says, "I live here Bell, this is my parent's house." Of course, I think to myself, everything makes sense now, the familiar features of his family, the little boy on the photo, and Hannah did mention having a brother, why didn't I see this before? "Oh," I stutter. He moves to the kitchen cabinet counter, and tucks his thumbs into his pocket, smiles at me, and asks, "And you Bell, what are you doing here, not only in my parents' house, but here in Germany?" he sounds excited and continues, "It's not a bad thing, I'm so very happy to see you, but I'm confused."

With the awkwardness broken now, I feel a bit relieved and tell him about everything that happened after he left up, the study opportunity, my job at the restaurant, and until how I was friends with his cousin and that's how I ended up here. "Wow Bell this is great and I'm very happy for you." He says and again wants to approach me, but I step back and ask, "And how has your life been so far?" I glance at his fingers and see no wedding ring. Just as Ben is about to tell me something, a woman, my age, I assumed, walks into the kitchen, she had blue eyes and long bright blonde hair, I watch her closely, she wasn't at the party last night, and I can't believe it, she was wearing the sweater I had bought Ben on, once again the familiar feeling of hurt, pain, and betrayal overpowers me, consumed by jealousy.

She gives me a nasty look and turns to Ben, tugging on his hands and whining like a toddler she says, "I was waiting for the water." She hangs on him and he looks at me while pushing her away, "Polla not now please, go upstairs, get dressed so that I can take you home." Oh so that is Polla, I tell myself, she is a beautiful woman, I feel the jealousy rise and as if Polla sensed something, she gives Ben a kiss on the cheek, sneers at me, and walks out. I should not have gotten my hopes up when I saw Ben and now I felt disgusted and hurt all over again, this was getting to much for me, I needed to get out of here and go home, I wanted to be in my little safe space, my apartment.

I make my way around the other side of the counter to avoid walking past Ben, but he runs around the other end, trying to stop me, "Bell please just wait, hear me out please, I can explain." For a few seconds we circle around the center counter and I feel the heavy tears rolling down my face, this was dejavu all over. "I have heard those words before, you don't need to explain anything to me Ben." I say and for some reason, it was what I felt, he didn't owe me any explanation, I was the one that broke up with him, what he did or is doing with his life is no concern of mine.