Long Overdue

1 - Jane Eyre

"I am not an angel, and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself. You must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me–for you will not get it, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate."

- Charlotte Bronte.

The heavy metal gates loomed threateningly over Y/N's car as she arrived at work. Her ears rang as they slowly screeched open, and she drove through. She ignored the small feeling of intimidation burrowing deep in her stomach as the bleak grey buildings rose around her. The colorless block of concrete drained her of all happiness each morning, no matter how hard she tried to brush it off. She waved feebly at the guard stationed next to the driveway as she passed and drove to the faculty parking, averting her eyes as she passed the now empty yard. When people asked what she did for a living, she'd tell them she was a librarian, not bothering to mention that she happened to work in the library at one of the largest federal prisons in the US.

The big building grew closer menacingly while she parked and walked quickly into the side entrance. She shuffled through the security checkpoint and stopped in the employee lounge, filling her thermos with coffee. This is where she waited for Officer Peters until he was ready to escort her down the hallway towards the library. As a faculty member who refused to carry a gun, all she had was a taser and a bottle of pepper spray that she kept tucked deep in her bag, to (hopefully) never be used, which meant that she'd been unofficially assigned the role as the 'helpless woman'. She'd fought with the warden for an hour when he insisted she needed an escort while walking through the halls, (even though she didn't pass through any cell blocks) but she'd lost, and she'd been reaping the consequences ever since.

Peters stood by the door until she'd unlocked it and stepped safely inside before he returned to the surveillance room at the front of the hallway. Almost immediately after turning on the lights, Y/n felt safe. The library was empty, as it always was in the mornings, creating a tiny sliver of peace for Y/N in her hectic world. This was the only time she could pretend she lived a normal life, had a normal job. Y/N was a part of a new program at Millburn Correctional Facility. She was the first and only female librarian to work at the prison's small library, fighting tooth and nail to get the spot, and they forced her to undergo the same training as the guards to make sure she'd always be safe. Around 10 am is when the library would open for the prisoners' use, and when that happened, a guard was stationed by her desk, and one was stationed by the door. Y/N's first few months had been hard, she endured some nasty treatment from the more bold inmates, but she refused to give up, and now she was a solid part of the foundation of many of these men's rehabilitation.

This Monday morning was like no other. Y/N re-shelved some books that had been left out overnight, waiting for the guards to bring in her usual volunteer, Calvin Shaw.

The heavy metal door creaked open, revealing Calvin and Officer Peters.

"Good morning, Miss Flowers,"

"Good morning Calvin," she responded warmly.

It had been hard at first, to be so kind to the men who lived in these walls. But over time, Y/N learned that a few of them had done what they had to in order to survive.

"How was your weekend?" Calvin asked as he helped shelve the last of the books.

Y/N shrugged. "Boring, like usual. I did drive down to Virginia to see my cousin, so that was fun."

"Good for you," he said as he reached for the last stack of books. Calvin smiled. "Aren't you gonna ask me about mine?"

Y/N laughed quietly. "How was your weekend?"