coloured out the lines, i came to find, my fire was fate with you

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Mal had few memories that she came back to from time to time because they made her smile and feel good in times of hardship. One of them was before everything went to shit, when she was eleven, and with her parents they went to an amusement park. They spent the whole day together, eating junk food and getting on as many attractions as possible, just laughing and enjoying each other's company.

Another one was when she was sixteen and she was lying on the bed, drawing as usual, while Evie sewed a dress in the corner of the room with her machine, and Jay and Carlos played a video game, kicking each other to make the other lose. There, in that simple and monotonous moment, she realized that perhaps she had found her people. Sure, nothing was ever perfect, but after trying so hard to fit in, at that moment it felt like it was.

At what point Mal let Uma make this summer one of those memories, she didn't know, but secretly she was grateful.

To say that they had become close was an understatement. At first Mal behaved well just to show her commitment, but then she realized they had more in common than their love for Paramore, and they spent the next few weeks after the party glued to each other's hips, talking about everything and nothing, sharing private jokes and glances that transcended the understanding of the rest.

They never touched the subject of Uma's ex again. Not because Mal didn't want to (it was just the opposite; Mal wanted to know everything about Uma, without being able to avoid it), but because Uma didn't bring it out again, and that was fine with Mal. She said that she'd already gotten over it, and Mal believed her (it was very similar to what happened to her with her parents; she didn't care about their divorce, but it still hurt sometimes). Plus, she had the essential piece of the story: Audrey was a bitch.

But Mal wasn't going to play stupid either, there was something growing between them that wasn't necessarily just friendship. She found herself more than once, as they walked along the shore of the beach at night, stopping herself from taking Uma's hand, or even though she had already finished her chores for the day, staying with Uma while she cleaned the dining room, taking a broom to make things easier for her.

Mal, cleaning! If her mother saw her, she'd think she had lost her mind. And yet... she only did it for Uma.

When speaking of love, Mal had very little experience with it. She'd had random hook-ups with people like any teen living their teenage dream, but she never let things go beyond that because no one caught her attention enough to risk getting her heart broken.

Because that's what it was all about. Be it a good or bad relationship, the end will always be the same; one is going to end up in pieces, and who voluntarily puts themselves in that position? If Mal was going to get hurt, at least it must be by someone who was worthwhile.

Not long ago, she had tried something with Evie. She was her best friend, and Mal was quite aware that the girl was beautiful, with her straight midnight blue hair accentuating her honey-coloured eyes with a tint of light green, and her lips always somehow peachy pink. She was beautiful, and for the most part, she understood her problems. And of course, she was irrevocably in love with her, so Mal thought fuck it and one night when the two of them were alone in her room, she kissed her.

Evie wasted no time in following the kiss with much encouragement, but as the seconds ticked by, Mal realized that all those emotions she felt when observing Evie's beauty didn't translate over to the kiss. There was no spark, there was no electricity, all those things mentioned in books when the hero kisses their soulmate were not present. It felt like an ordinary kiss, one of many that Mal had had in the past.

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