control

chapter eight ‼

"You need to eat."

I turn my head away from the food kenma pushes towards me.

I'll never eat again. He left me because I wasn't good enough. He said I ate too much. Maybe if I stopped eating I'll be better and he'll come back.

"Shouyou."

I feel sorry for kenma, he's been trying to look after me for the past week, and I know I'm being difficult but I cant help it.

My eyes start tearing up at this thought, I'm such a burden.
As the tears fell kenma came beside me dutifully and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight making me feel secure and safe from the world.

I lean over and lay my head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry. You don't need to do this."

"I want to. I wouldn't be anywhere else." He lays his head upon mine.

"What about volleyball?"

"Kuroo knows what happened and understands where I need to be.. And your team knows.. Kageyama has been kicked off the team.." He said the last bit hesitantly.

My head shot up and I stared at him, "they know?? Do they hate me?? Is kageyama angry??"

Kenma ran his hand through my hair to sooth me and said, "they don't hate you. They care about you so much. They've been wanting to come see you but I want to give you some more time.. And he well, yeah he's moved to another district and is going to a different school."

My heart broke further at those words, "he- he left?" I let out a sob and my vision blurred again.

Pain was written all over kenma's face as he muttered, "it's a good thing shouyou. He was hurting you, you were fading away. Now he can't come back."

I nodded for his benefit even though I knew deep down I'd let him come back.

"I- I'd like to see my team.." I suggested uncertainly.

"Are you sure? I don't know if you're ready for company.."

"Yeah I need to know they don't hate me.."

"If you're sure. I'll let them know to come after school."

"Thank you kenma."