Gone autobiographies in Tesco ;D

So i went into Tesco today... and guess what i saw?

2-for-1 offers on AUTOBIOGRAPHIES OF THE GONE CHARACTERS!!! I was shocked, curious and amazed all at the same time. 

Curiousity won over.

I, acting casually, sauntered over to the books and idly picked one up. The official autobiography of Sam Temple. 

I hefted it in my hand. It was heavy. 

I then proceded to open it up and read it, not intending to read much.

"Uh... 'sup all. Sam here. Right. Let me just get things straight before i begin. MY NAME IS NOT SAMANTHA (as Caine keeps calling me). 

So... i'm 15. Birthday - November 22nd. Deathday - probably pretty soon the way we're going here in the FAYZ. I love to surf, which is what i used to do with Quinn before he betrayed me at the start of all this mess. 

I can't trust him now. He's useless. More than useless. No, he's not that bad. We've had better days, but it's getting better. 

Anyway. I've got this "power", where i can shoot a green fire-sort-of-thing from my hands. I found out - only what must have been a couple of days after the FAYZ came - that Caine - a screwed-up kid from Coates Academy - is really my brother. We were born 3 minutes apart! (I still sometimes refuse to believe it, even now.)

I like to spend time with my girlfriend Astrid, and although we've been trying to work on our relationship, it's falling apart. I think it's because we started going out because of the FAYZ. I'll admit it - she annoys me. But, to be honest, she annoys everyone. Even her autistic brother, Pete."

I closed the book before reading any more. I picked up The official autobiography of Astrid Ellison.

"Hello everyone. I'm Astrid Ellison. I'm 15 years old, and currently reside in Perdido Beach with my little brother, Petey, and my boyfriend, Sam Temple. 

I don't want to say this, but i feel i must - Sam really irritates me sometimes. In fact, more than sometimes. He keeps wanting to sleep with me, more and more recently. It's more than a little annoying.

Petey. What can i say about Petey? He's a majorly-autistic 5-year-old, who can... do things. We haven't even figured out the extent of his powers. And i think we have yet to learn.

My little brother created the dome that encompasses us - many months ago - and no-one can figure out how to eliminate it. 

Shortly after the coming of the FAYZ (Fallout Alley Youth Zone), Caine Soren, Diana Ladris, Drake Merwin, and a large number of children from Coates Academy - a private, expensive school for the disturbed - drove to Perdido Beach in black SUVs and attempted to take over us unsuspecting children. 

He - Caine - succeeded after a while, mostly by creating fear throughout Perdido Beach. He used Drake - a VERY mentally-disturbed boy - to gain his will on more than one occasion."

After snapping the book shut, i took another off the wooden shelf in front on me. The official autobiography of Caine Soren.

"Hi. I'm Caine Soren - obviously, it says on the front. I'm 15, one of the 2 oldest kids in the FAYZ. The other is Sam Temple, my brother. I live on a big island with Diana - my more-than-beautiful girlfriend - where we have food, water, ect. All the things the kids down in Perdido Beach don't have. Suckers.

We also live with 2 others - a girl called Penny, the "monster bringer", and a creep boy called Bug. Unfortunately, i have to help Diana bathe Penny by lifting the girl out of the bath. It's really uncomfortable. I don't particularly want to see Penny naked, but i've not really got any choice. 

Ah, Diana. I don't want to tell her this - not in person - but i love her. Very much. I'd do anything for her. I even killed my best right-hand man, Drake, when he tried to - and almost did - kill her. 

I know she'll never acknowledge the fact, but she does love me. She's just too proud to admit it.

WHY, DIANA? WHY???

I mean, you'll sleep with me, so why won't you tell me you love me?"

I shuddered. I didn't want to know any more.

The next book offered more interest; The official autobiography of Drake Merwin. I wasn't sure why it would be more interesting. Maybe i just wanted to see what a psychopath would write.

"Okay, let me start by saying i really didn't want to do this, but Brittney Pig made me. So i'll just say one simple line: I'm going to kill you all. I'm going to stalk you to your house and slit your throat from left to right whilst you're asleep.

THIS IS AN EXTRACT FROM DRAKE'S DIARY, FOUND BY BRITTNEY DONEGAL."

Curious, i sat down in a nearby chair, out of the way of passers-by.

"Dear Diary,

Today i only whipped 2 people. I'm dissapointed. I would have whipped more, but Brittney emerged halfway through. Damn her!

I was thinking about when i killed Diana. Relishing and reliving the moment. But then i thought - who will i have to hate? I mean really hate. Like, Brittney, i hate her, but then again, i hate everyone. I loathed Diana. I'll have to find someone else to by my arch-enemy. Maybe Sam. He's pretty annoying.

I miss my old life. As much as i love this - being able to whip people constantly - i have to share a body with Brittney Pig. And i don't get to argue with her; because we share a body, we can't talk or anything.

I also don't get to stalk Justin Beiber anymore. Because there's no Internet, i don't get updates on his Facebook, don't get to like all his statuses and posts. I still have the CDs though. That's a relief. I can tell Brittney doesn't touch them - i check everytime. Each one is in exactly the same order i left them, with the posters still up on the walls. I'd never say this to ANYONE - but i'd do anything for Justin. I love him - not in that way, but almost. I almost died when i found out he kissed Senena Gomez!"

I laughed out loud at this.

"I whip my hand to 'I Whip My Hair Back And Fourth' on my iPod. It's like my own little work-out routine - not that i need it. As the undead, i don't need to eat, so i can't consume fat. Or whatever."

I stifled the sudden urge to burst into fits of laughter. I yearned so badly to read more, but a store clerk came by, so i had to but the book back.

But i was very intregued.

As i passed out of the store, i saw a boy with shaggy blonde hair and shark-like features that looked vaguely familiar...