Churn [Jikook ff] ✅

Part 1

Jimin's POV

Churn.

My stomach churned whenever I saw his eyes glancing towards me.

My stomach churned whenever he talked to me.

My stomach churned whenever he called out my name.

My stomach churned whenever he walked towards me.

My stomach churned whenever he grabbed my wrist.

And again, my stomach churned this time when he trapped my body with his, with my back flat on the wall.

But these churns and butterflies in my stomach were to no use.

Even how much churns he did to my stomach, it was always accompanied with stabbing pain in my heart.

Bleed to my wounds.

Clench to my chest.

Stung to my eyes.

But I never showed them in front of him.

I would always acted strong when he did all the things he did.

That he did, to hurt me.

And yes, I admitted that it hurt.

It hurt a lot.

Everything he did hurt me.

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, trying to control my emotions from bursting.

I was at my limit with all these roller-coaster feelings I was having towards him.

I gulped down my saliva, ignoring the pain on my wrists that were still being clamped by his hard grips.

I felt his minty breath hit my face and I slowly opened my eyes to look at his beautiful ones.

But as soon as our eyes met, I felt goosebumps all over my body, and all the strong façade I tried to put on, crushed in a split second.

Unintentional hitch in my breath followed by a sob I couldn't stop, had caught him off guard.

Jungkook was shocked.

He must've been expecting me to kick his shin or spit on his face or butted my head on his nose like usual, but instead, I cried.

Of course he would be shocked.

I would too if I was him.

"Why do you keep doing this to me, Jungkook?" I whispered just enough for my voice to reach his ear and it was definitely in a slow volume.

But considering the small inches between our faces, I was sure Jungkook could hear them loud and clear.

"What have I ever done to you?"

My wrists were still in his hold on both my sides, so I just brought my head down, away from his stare and I let a few more tears rolling down freely on my cheeks.

"Is it so wrong to like you?"

I could feel the top of my head brushed the tip of his nose due to my action, but that was the last thing I would be worrying about at this moment.

"I'm tired, Jungkook. Look, I'll never look your way again. You'll never have to worry about crossing path with me anymore, okay? I'll treat you like someone I never know," I sobbed with broken heart.

Half of me already gave up on the ridiculous idea that Jungkook was someone I could approach and be friends with.

That was what I thought once.

I thought that I could be his friend.

Heck, I even thought that I could be more than that to this dashing boy.

How innocent was I?

To have that kind of thoughts about this cold boy?

The boy whose thoughts was impenetrable.

I tried to break down his walls, only to have myself being trashed around due to that.

I tried to help him out of his misery life, only to be pushed down into my own endless misery.

And after thousands and thousands of trials trying to understand the boy, I didn't want to do it anymore.

I give up on the boy named Jeon Jungkook.

Taken aback at my tears, Jungkook paused the increasing strength that he put on his grip on my wrists.

Maybe he was too shock to keep hurting me.

He loosened his grip before slowly letting my wrists free.

Our chests were still colliding with each other as he trapped me on the wall, and I pushed him softly, just enough for me to move away from being caged by Jungkook.

"Goodbye, Jungkook" I said one last time before I turned my back on him and dragged my feet away from him, wiping the still dropping tears with the palms of my hands.

I walked the furthest I could, away from the boy, and stopped at the nearest riverside, before dropping myself on the grass beneath my feet.

Clenching the shirt above my chest tight, I cried everything out of my chest.

I cried hard, the hardest I've ever cried, not even minding myself to wipe the tears that streamed down my face.