𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 8:𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞

"Stefan?" I called into the house that once just been a place to sleep, a roof over my head whilst I watched the Salvatores and the Doppelgänger but now it was more than a place to sleep. It was a home. A home. I laughed at my own words. I had never had a home since Bulgaria where I had lost everything, where I had been banished from my old life and forced to live in England to where my on-going run from Klaus would begin. I had never been attached to a building since that time where I held my little girl in my arms, I had never felt safe anywhere else expect now. Maybe it was because Stefan was here with me or maybe it was due to the house bringing me closer to Stefan. I didn't know but what I did know that this place was finally a home. I had a home.

My hands were in the pockets of my leather jacket, clutching the material tight in my fingers as the thought of confessing my love to Stefan began to terrify me rather than feel like an exhilarating revelation like had been only a few moments ago. The curls of my hair were winding down the front of my chest and seemed to be frozen in place just like everything seemed to be inside me. I couldn't move but my feet seemed willing to go find Stefan. How was I supposed to tell him that I loved him? How was I supposed to tell Stefan that I was madly in love with him and that I had changed? How was I supposed to convince him to be with me?
"In here." Stefan replied, his voice coming from the living room where he was probably reading or writing in his beloved journal just like in 1864.
My feet continued to take the steps towards him without me fully registering what was happening. I had never been this nervous. I was Katherine Pierce. Why should I be nervous? I would tell him how I felt about him and if he didn't want to be with me then he didn't want to be with me it was as simple as that. But could you really face him denying you…again? A voice said from my head that sounded very much like Elena's causing a small snarl to emit from my lips but it was right. Could I really face another rejection from him? Would I be able to walk away this time now that my humanity was more turned on than ever before? The answer was; no. No, I wouldn't be able to walk away and the reason that this whole thing was so terrifying was because I couldn't deal with his rejection this time, I wouldn't be able to cope with it.
Soon my eyes became in contact with Stefan who was intently reading some novel that I couldn't care less about. His head was bent over the book as it rested on the arm of the chair, his finger on his chin and just grazing over his lips. Stefan help up a finger indicating that he would only be one moment and that he would be with me. His brown eyes started to scan the text faster and faster until the point where I was sure he wasn't really reading the text but nevertheless once he reached the end of the page, he folded it to mark the page and closed the book, and now his eyes were focused on me.
"Hey." He smiled, his brown eyes sparkling as he rose from the couch. "Where've you been? I came back from hunting and you were gone."
It was time to tell the truth.
"I went to the Boarding House." I nodded. "Your house."
"Why?" He said his eyebrows rising in a confused expression, his lips slightly puckered.
"To see..." I swallowed. "Elena. I went to see Elena."
Stefan shook his head more confused than ever before and who could blame him? I was the last person on the planet to ever think that one day I would go to Elena asking her advice about Stefan. The old me would never have done that, would have never have stooped that low for advice and would kill Elena the first chance she would get alone with her rather than seek her advice. The old me only hoped that Stefan would join her and be with her again but right now I had more than hope. I believed from his behaviour that it could actually happen because everything from the last few days suggested we could be great again. I smiled to myself. It was right.
"Why?" Stefan asked in complete disbelief. "Why would you go to her?"
"Because…" I trailed off, taking my hands out of my pockets and taking a further step towards him. "Because I wanted to ask her something, ask her advice about something. I know, that is strange but she was the only one I could ask. I have no one in this town other than you and I couldn't go directly to you about it. I needed advice about you so going to you about it would be ridiculous." Realising I was going off topic, I bit my lip in protest before continuing to speak. "I needed advice so I went to Elena and she told me that I should tell you what I told her."
"And what did you tell her?" Stefan asked, taking another step closer to me so there was only a small gap between us.
"I-I told her that I'm scared." There that was simple enough. I could do this. I just had to do it in small and simple steps.
"Scared of what?" Stefan whispered softly, leaning towards my face so that his lips were only a few inches away from mine. I could feel everything inside of me get warm and fuzzy inside like a teenage girl with her first love. Trying to be inconspicuous I gazed up at him from beneath my eyelashes but his lips caught my attention, they were so close to mine and closer than they had been in a long time.
"Scared of losing this and it being a lie." I whispered, my gaze now retreating to the floor. I took a large breath before continuing to speak. After all, it was now or never. "Whatever this is, anyway. I don't want us getting closer because I'm your substitute for Elena."
"You're not a substitute." Stefan whispered, tilting my head with his hand whilst his thumb caressed my chin sending warmth through me.
You're not a substitute. I am not a substitute. He wasn't replacing Elena with me. He actually wanted to spend time with me and he wanted to be with me. I wasn't his substitute. To most that may not seem like anything big because they weren't afraid that they were a substitute to an ex-girlfriend or whatever but to me? Now that was a completely different story. Knowing that I was not the replacement for Elena was like a revelation, a new beginning, a new chapter in mine and Stefan's story. The words alone allowed me to move on and take the step, made me willing to confess my love for me because Stefan wanted to be around me. He wanted me. He actually wanted to spend time with me with all the silly baggage that came with me. He wanted to spend time with me.
Doesn't mean he's in love with you. The petty Elena voice said again in my head, only reminding me that I still had to confess my love for him and that could determine whether I would break or whether or not we would finally be together. Stefan's reaction to what I said next mattered the most in this entire conversation and if he said he wasn't ready or he didn't love me then I had no idea how I was going to deal with any of it but one thing was for sure; I would break. I couldn't have come this far with my humanity just to have it all ruined now, could I?
"Ever since you came here because of the whole Damon and Elena thing we've come closer and I have changed." I swallowed, trying to think of what to say next and getting slightly clouded by how close Stefan was to me. "We've spent so much time together and it's made me realise a lot of things, all of them about you. You have made me feel like the human girl that I thought I lost when they took away my baby and I became a vampire but somehow you brought the emotions back and I will owe you for that, forever." Stefan chuckled quietly to himself, his eyes still thoroughly focused on me. At his chuckle I actually felt a blush creep into my cheeks. Could vampires even blush? I shook my head. Stay focused, Kat.
"But that isn't what I need to say to you." I breathed out quickly, starting to panic for what felt like the millionth time during this conversation. "What I need to say to you is that I love you. I love you, Stefan. I love you and I don't want to be a replacement for Elena. I want what we had back in 1864 where you loved me, where you fought to be with me and where you were proud to be mine. Remember when you called me angel? I want you to look at me like that again. I need you to look at me like that again, like you have been doing whenever you let your emotions control you the last few days. I want to be with you because there is no one else." I let out a sigh of relief as I concluded my speech. There I had said it, I had finally told him and from here on out everything was now up to Stefan and I could only hope that he wanted to be with me too.
I glanced back up at Stefan expecting to see confused brown eyes and pursed lips as he tried to scramble his thoughts together but instead he was smiling, his brown eye's sparkling with relief and love as he gazed down at me. A small smile tugged on my lips as I looked up at him unable to contain myself. Ever so slowly he closed the space between us so our bodies were almost touching, his brown eyes staring intently into mine as though they held a thousand secrets and I could feel my heart hammering against my chest like a human's would. My eyes followed the lines of Stefan's lips wondering what it would be like to finally taste them again after all these years. Stefan hesitantly raised his arm and gently hooked it around my waist his hand resting on the small of my back. My body burned with his touch, aching and craving for more and my eyes closed welcoming back the touch that I had lost all those years ago. Everything inside me was screaming that I was finally getting what I wanted but still I waited for him to reject me, waited for him to push me away and tell me that I was not capable of loving, and for that he could not love me.
"Katherine." Stefan whispered exasperated, his lips barely an inch from my own now and all I wanted to do was close the distance between us and finally kiss but I wouldn't do it yet. I had to wait for him to say I love you. "I have realised a few things too. I realised that you are the kind-hearted that girl that I believed to be an angel back in 1864 but you've had to hide that, you had to protect yourself and you had no reason to feel because-"
"I never loved anybody else, that's why." I finished for him, my eyes retreating back to the floor in embarrassment.
Stefan smiled slightly before continuing.
"I was stupid not to realise that before now. Also, I was stupid not to realise the feelings I had for you because you are not her replacement don't you get that? She's your replacement." Stefan paused, his eyes searching mine for a brief period. "It's always been you. Katherine, it's only ever been you."
Before I could comprehend what he had actually said or even process the words he had chosen his lips came crashing against mine. The hand on the small of my back pressed me closer to him aggressively as his other arm wound around my waist in attempt to get me closer to him. Our lips were clashing against each other, fighting for dominance, fighting to show how much we missed each other and who loved the other more in this moment. All that could be heard was our unnecessary heavy breathing and the sound of lips together. My arms wrapped around his neck, my fingertips brushing against his hair as I pulled his lips closer to mine. Neither of us wanting to pull away from each other because now we finally had each other, we finally had each other the way it had intended to be.
"I've missed you so much." I managed to say in-between kisses. "So, so much."
"I missed you too."
Stefan pulled away allowing us both to catch our breath and restore it's normal pace. We managed to untangle our limbs from each other until eventually we were stood hand in hand just staring each other and smiling. Stefan shook his head and smiled pulling me close to him once again, placing a small kiss on my forehead. How could any of this be real? How could the man I loved actually love me back after all this time?
"I can't believe this." I whispered my musings out loud. "Don't wake me up."
"It's real. I am right here." Stefan laughed, caressing my face.
"We're actually together."
"Forever." Stefan whispered, smiling gently before kissing me once more.