It didn't happen like they claimed it did in movies. Well, not for Louis at least. He didn't share a particularly found smile with Harry one day and in that instant know he was unconditionally in love with his younger friend. In fact, to be quite honest, it didn't happen like that at all.
It was slow, almost uncertain on Louis' part. There had been a few times where Louis would look at Harry during an interview or signing and feel a tightening in his chest that only Harry seemed to cause. Then, he had shrugged it off as admiration for the way the girls were treating his best friend.
Another time that hinted that these were no longer simple platonic feelings was when they had been at an award ceremony. Eleanor had been hanging off his arm as per usual, the couple looking absolutely stunning together, but when Louis had looked down at her he found himself incredibly disappointed that it was the gorgeous brunette and not the cheeky, handsome boy a few feet to his left. After that, after pondering that feeling of disparity and disappointment for countless hours and going through nearly three boxes of his favorite tea, Louis had broken it off with Eleanor. It would have been selfish of him to keep things going with her if he was not certain of how he felt about the whole situation.
Even though there were many things that made Louis' question his feelings for Harry during the year he'd known the boy, he knew -at long last he knew, that he indeed was in love.
It happened after their performance at Red and Black. They were back at their own flat and Harry was still helplessly upset about his performance that night. Louis was doing absolutely everything in his power that was humanly possible to try and get that breathtaking smile of Harry's back on his face. It wasn't working. Nothing was working.
Louis put it all down to the simple fact that his friend was upset and he was doing what was expected of him. But his heart faltered at the thought f Harry shedding anymore tears.
Louis pulled Harry into his side with enough force to send then both toppling over so that they were lying rather than siting on the sofa. Louis wrapped strong arms around Harry's frail waist and encased him with enough love to last him a life time. He mumbled nonsense into Harry's ear as he felt the green eyed boy's tears wet his neck.
It broke Louis' heart. Seeing Harry this upset, this devastated sent an unknown emotion through Louis' body. He wanted to protect Harry from anything and everything that would hurt him. As he stroked Harry's cheek soothingly he realized that he wanted this every night. Not for Harry to be upset, for to be able to hold him in his arms, to have that feeling that Harry belonged to him and no one else. He knew when Harry's tears stopped and he pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek, stuttering a feeble thank you Lou, that he needed this boy. Being with him like this, it gave Louis such a content feeling of wholeness that he vowed he'd do whatever he could to keep it, even if to Harry it was nothing more than friendship.
It wasn't extraordinary, it was probably even below average, but this was Louis' love for Harry. He loved him with such a fierce emotion that even if it didn't compare to others, it was all he needed. It was his love, and it was easier to defend love than it was to defend an impossible, gut-wrenching need that had proven impossible to describe with any word in the English language.
He couldn't tell this to Harry though, not just yet at least. He'd test Harry, to see how far he was willing to go and how deep his feelings ran, if there were any at all. And even though it had been their number one rule from the beginning, to not hide anything from each other, that rule was shattered with a very simple, very quiet "goodnight Harry".
