My Paradise (BxB) {Book 5}

Chapter 5

This was all the sudden, I'm unable to face reality, Blake is now my boss, I can't do anything about it.

After the meeting and 'catching up' with an 'old friend of mine', I went out to dinner with Maddie, I took her home, afterwards, I secretly went to a bar, I asked my college buddy to accompany me.

I drank up a few shot of vodka, my friend was slowing me down, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, buddy."

I glared at him and drink another shot down.

"Danial? Is there something bothering you?"

I ignored him.

"Hey, don't invite me if you're going to tell me nothing." Martin says.

". . .I met my ex today." I finally said.

"Whoa! I didn't think you'd actually be this straightforward, you hardly ever want to tell me or anyone else about your private life, are you drunk?"

I glared at him again, "Maybe this was a mistake."

"No, no, no, it's just new to me, that's all, don't get upset. Anyways, proceed." Of course he's into gossip.

"Now, he's my boss."

"Wait, 'he'? As in male?"

"Why? Do you have a problem with your friend dating men, or at least used to."

"No, no. You got it wrong, once again, I'm not judging you, I'm just not used to you telling me your past or secrets, you're now just suddenly open about things. But hey, it's cool, really. I would never judge my friends."

"Maybe, I wasn't always closed up in the dark where I keep things to myself."

"Sooo, that ex, you met him again, that must've hit you hard."

"You have no idea."

"Did he bother you? Or do you just not like getting involved with him?"

"I. . ." the truth aches, "I don't want to talk about it anymore, it's in the past, isn't it?"

"I don't know, no one can know the answer except you, Danial, don't be so hard on yourself, what's done is done, but it doesn't always mean that the case is locked forever, keys to that drawer will exist if you allow it." Martin said understandably.

"That's the thing Martin, I don't want to allow it to exist. He's my past, and Maddie's my future, I'm going to get married for goodness sake."

"Yeah, okay, I was just saying that hatred or avoidance doesn't always have to go in the way between you and your past lover. Maybe you guys could stay be friends."

I scoffed, "Friends? With Blake King? I don't think someone with such arrogant personality would want to even be friends, he would probably want to try with all his might to get back with me or at me for leaving him. Is he the type to do so? I'm not really sure, because I don't know how much he has changed. We all grow up and move on, but him? He would possibly hold grudges."

"Hey Danial? If it's okay to ask, why did you end your relationship with him exactly?"

"Even Blake wants to know why, I've never told him, and never will. It's too personal. . ."

"Damn, that deep? How long were you guys dating?"

"About five years."

"Holy crap! That long?!" Martin exclaims, which caused to attract attention.

"Can't you quiet down? Now my ears are ringing."

"Sorry about that." Martin pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing, "But five years? Like damn, that's like eternity, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you could say that. The longer you love someone, the harder it is to forget about them, huh? And I guess for hurting him, I now have to live with the consequences."

"Wait, woah woah woah, it was your decision, right? He can't just hold that against you forever.

"Really? I mean how would you feel if someone dated you for that many years and suddenly broke up with you and even left without any explanation, not even taking responsibility for it."

"I mean, sure, if I was in his place, no homo though, I would be sad and angry in all honesty, it'd probably take me a while to get used to living without that person, but rather than staying angry, I just hope that they would be happy with the decision they made, the other person really should respect it, especially when they didn't mean to hurt them. At least that's how I think it should be." Martin explains in his perspective.

"Yeah buddy, I agree with you."

I drank some more shots of vodka, I felt tipsy, I just wanted to forget everything that has happened today, just forget the pain that was caused to leave a scar in my heart.

We can't go back, never ever again, I've already made the decision, life goes on.

But why is my heart still held back by an invisible string?

Sometimes love is beautiful to remember, sometimes love is too painful to forget, sometimes love is like fierce war.

Love is like a new chapter filled with chaos mixing in reality.

Can I ever forget you, Blake?

Can I overcome this love?

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