Amnesia

Chapter 1

No one will ever miss me if I was to die . Maybe Jasmine . Maybe . Besides her , that's all . Why do I even try ? Is it for myself ? Or , is it for Jasmine , so she isn't alone ? I'm just so tired . Tired of living , tired of trying , tired of crying , and well . Tired of breathing . Maybe , if I wasn't a coward , I would do it . But , I couldn't do that to Jasmine , I just couldn't . That would kill her . I can't , I want to , but I just can't .

I finish writing in my journal and close it up . All my life , ever since I could write , I kept a journal and wrote every single day . I'm 18 now , so I'm a senior . I still live at home because my dad won't let me leave the house except from school , my guess is because he thinks I will tell on him for everything he has done to me . I couldn't do that even if I wanted to . The more my father drinks and does drugs , the quicker he dies . And that's all I want for the heartless man . Maybe , hell , I don't know . I just know I hate his guts and want to leave him . Like I said though , I can't leave this horrid place .

My dad . My so called "dad" beats me almost everyday . I don't know why he does , I don't do anything to him . He hasn't always been like this though . He had a nice paying job , he never drunk , and him and my mom were actually happy together . Ever since my mom died my dad has beat me with basically anything he could find . I want my mom back , but she was bad as well . My mother did drugs , had affairs , and left me home alone for days . I was 13 when she died . It's been five years since her over dose . I can't get over seeing her lifeless body in my arms . It hurt beyond words . Even though I hated her , I didn't want her to go ..

When I come back to reality I slide my journal under my bed so my dad can't find it . I turn on my music and turn it to my favorite song : Lost Boy , 5SOS . I love 5 Seconds Of Summer , I always have . I seen there first youtube video , and I knew they would make it big . I don't know , but something about Calum makes him my favorite . I love Calum Hood so much , and I have wanted to meet him since he joined in 2011 . He is so perfect , I would love to meet him . I sing along to the lyrics and run the water for a shower . I shred the clothes from today , and step into the nice hot water . Maybe tomorrow will be better . Only 24 hours , you can do this Mckenzie .

When my water started running cold I exited the shower and dressed into a warm sweater , and a black pair of leggings . I look in the mirror and thank myself for being a soccer , and volleyball player . This kept me in shape , that is a very good thing for me because me dad is fat and so was my mom . Well not exactly fat , but they are getting there . I remember when I was 10 , I promised myself that I would stay fit and skinny .

*Beep*
Jasmine : Hey , I'm coming up , open the window .

I place my phone on my bed and open my window , waiting for Jasmine to climb up the rose bush to my room on the second floor . She enters my room and screams quietly when she hears She Looks So Perfect and Luke's part is on .

"I HAVE SUCH GOOD NEWS MICK !!" She screams , and I'm so thankful my father has gone out to the bar . She pulls her phone out and opens up Twitter .

Jasmine is my best friend because when we were little , she was in my pre-school class and I thought she was the coolest person in the world because she could sing the ABC's perfectly . (Had too .😂)

"GUESS WHAT FAMOUS AUSTRALIAN BOY BAND IS COMING HERE TO OUR SCHOOL !"

My breathe was gone and I felt so happy . Ashton .. Mikey .. Luke ..

Calum .

A/N : Should I continue ?! I really like this one , I have been daydreaming ways to make the story amazing !! Let me know please !! My goal is to make you happy while reading . Please vote and let me know if you like the story !!