ALL I HAVE LEFT. (XUEXIAO)

006

After a few words of courtesy and a quick goodbye, the two parties parted ways, Jin GuangYao and Xue Yang walking back to Carp Tower while Xiao XingChen and Song Lan went their own way. Even to this day, Xue Yang didn't know where they were going, and tried not to think about them. But how could he not? It had been years since he saw Xiao XingChen's face and his smile, so how could he not think about it?

"Young master Xue, what is up with you today? First the manuscripts, then the incident at the....brothel. Something is off."

Xue Yang decided to bullshit his way out of this.

"I'm sleepy, keep walking, I want to go to bed."

Obviously, whenever Xue Yang went "to sleep" there would always be mysterious scratch marks across the sect next morning in addition to the occasional missing disciple and damaged building. Jin GuangYao was not so easily fooled, but by Xue Yang's nature, he assumed he would spend the night flipping through Wei WuXian's manuscripts, and didn't bother him any further. It was unlike Xue Yang to change the topic in such a forced way, but Jin GuangYao decided to ignore it for now, unless this strangeness really got in his way.

Unfortunately for Lianfang-Zun, Xue Yang's strangeness really would get in his way of killing people. At some points along the road, Xue Yang seriously thought of quitting the Lanling Jin sect. In his last life, he was thrown out anyways, with the only person who still cared about him from that sect being Jin GuangYao, who would come to visit him occasionally. But if he left the sect on his own, wouldn't that be rejecting Jin GuangYao outright? That would mean losing his friend. But if Xue Yang could save Xiao XingChen, then losing any friend was worth it.

In the end, Xue Yang decided to lay low and not do anything too strange so that people wouldn't notice, and he would only do something if the situation absolutely required it, like for example killing the Chang clan. When the two of them got back, the sky was dark and the moon was rising, a cool breeze blowing through their hair. 

Xue Yang bid a snarky goodbye to Jin GuangYao and practically flew up into his room, his heart still unbelievably filled from the encounter with Xiao XingChen. As he hopped down on his bed, he looked up at the little drawings on the top of his bed, from lists of people scratched off one by one to messy scribbles that no mortal should be able to comprehend. He took his knife and carved another name on his bed, but this time in the corner, as if trying to hide it from someone. He carved the three characters "Xiao Xing Chen", but then quickly crossed it out. He lay silent for a second before replacing it with the word "Daozhang."

He changed into his pajamas, which he hadn't worn in an excruciatingly long time, as he had barely worn them while at Lanling, and after leaving, he had never even touched them again. They were soft and smooth, leaving Xue Yang wondering why he had never wanted to wear them before.

Xue Yang took out Wei WuXian's manuscripts and flipped through them in a rush, as he had basically already memorized their contents. He had spent days and nights pondering over them, obsessing over them, to the point where he could recite every word verbatim. He looked over it again, the familiar words of "resent is like spiritual energy, but with a thicker flow and a more heavy feel compared to the lightness of spiritual energy" washing over him. 

It was surprisingly early, but Xue Yang was already tired, so he put the manuscript aside and closed his eyes. A minute passed, two, three, but he couldn't fall asleep, becoming more and more frustrated and irritated as time went on. In the end, he couldn't stand the suffocating heat and anger, and hopped off his bed. He changed back into his disciple robes and hopped off his bed, and decided to go outside for a walk.

He silently opened the door and tiptoed in the wooden halls like he had for so many nights when he went outside to capture small animals for his experiments. But this time, he was merely going outside for a walk, nothing dark, nothing demonic, but he always had a feeling even the sight of him was evil, so he didn't even want people to see him.