Light in Torment: An Annora Park Novel: Book Three

Chapter Five: Caught in the Chasm

Terrenel looked better—not much better, but better.  I felt my chest burn and my heart ache every time I looked at him, and God, it hurt, it hurt so much.  But I had to be strong...for the both of us, I had to be strong.
   "My love, you wished to speak." Terrenel finally breaks the silence, and I gulp.  I guess I wasn't exactly ready to have this conversation, not with him in the condition he was in.  Because I could see that even though he looked better he was still weak.  His light was dim and it hurt, it hurt like hell.
   "Yes.  Things have been happening on Earth, Terrenel, terrible things and I needed to speak with you about them."
   "This is what you wished to speak about...happenings on Earth?" And there is no mistaking the bitterness in his voice.
   "Yes.  It's important."
   "So are we."
   "What do you mean?"
   "My love..."
   "Please stop calling me that, Terrenel."
   "I cannot.  I will not, for that is what you are to me, you are my love, my one and only love.  I will love you until the end of the Goddess blessed days."
   I close my eyes for a second and gather myself.  "It hurts to hear you call me that."
   "Oh, my love, the last thing I want is to hurt you."
   "And yet you did.  You did more than hurt me, Terrenel, you broke me." Guess we were having this conversation now.  Shit.
   It's Terrenel's turn to close his eyes.  He keeps them closed for a minute, taking deep breaths before opening them.  "I never meant for what happened to happen, my love."
   "What the hell did you mean to happen then?  Hell you freaking proposed to another woman.  God, I don't even know, if you're married now."
   Terrenel looks positively horrified by my words.  "How could you possibly believe I would do such a thing."
   "Oh maybe because Fairy bitch said you were discussing your upcoming nuptials.  And the ballroom was all lit up and it looked like you were getting ready for the big announcement.  And then you sent me away."
   "I did not send you away I..."
   "You told me you couldn't speak to me, that's as good as sending me away." I begin to pace.  "What was I supposed to think?"
   "You should have let me explain."
   "What the fuck was there to explain?"
   "I am not married, the only woman I will ever love and ever marry is you, my love."
   "We're not engaged anymore, Terrenel."
   Terrenel pulls out the ring and holds it out,  "This is yours.  I want you to wear it again, my love."
   "No."
   "My..."
   "No, Terrenel, I'm not ready.  I'll admit to being happy knowing you're not married, hell that you're not engaged to someone else, but that doesn't change the fact that you broke my heart, and that I'm not ready to wear your ring again...I might never be ready to wear it again."
   Terrenel puts the ring back his face is so sad it breaks my heart a little more.
   "Briellaa's father is Lord of the Eastern Front.  He is a high standing noble, and it was always assumed that I would marry his daughter and form an alliance."
   "Then why didn't you, marry her I mean?"
   "Because I didn't love her, I never felt the pull to her and I know now that the reason for that is standing in front of me.  I was always meant for you, my love.  The Goddess blessed me when she gave you to me.  I had no such inclination for Briellaa and I never formed a bond with her,  What you witnessed was her father and some other nobles trying to strong arm me into marrying her."
   "You're the king, why would you need to form an alliance with her in the first place."
   "Her father commands a strong force, an army and threatened to withdraw his support if I did not marry his daughter.  I was trying, clearly not well, to explain that I would never marry his daughter and that his support did not mean that much to me when you walked in.  And then..."
   "That bitch touched you and told me that you were getting married."
   Terrenel smiles a little then.  "Yes, bitch is a good word for her."  At that I smile a little too.
   "Terrenel, you'd announced us already, why were the nobles all up in arms."
   Terrenel sighs deeply.  "Some see you as...as..."
   "Just spit it out."
   "Impure."
   "Impure?" I laugh then.  "What, is this the fifteenth century? Shit.  We've had sex Terrenel, of course I wasn't going to be a fucking virgin.  What does my lack of virginity have to do with this."
   "This has nothing to do with your virginity or lack therefore and everything to do with your...your mixed lineage."
   I draw back shocked.  "They're angry because I'm not a pure Light Fairy?"  Terrenel nods,  "That's ridiculous."
   "And so I told them.  It doesn't matter that you are part Dark Fae, Treader, angel and Fae DeJinn."
   "Oh my God, don't tell me that you told them I'm a Fae DeJinn."
   Terrenel looks affronted and he shakes his head,  "Of course I didn't tell them that you were the last of the Fae DeJinn.  I would never.  They were more concerned with you Dark Fae part and the fact that you..." he sighs, "...have no wings, therefore you are not a pure Fairy."
   Oh boy was he in for a surprise.  I laugh and say, "Terrenel I want to show you something." I think really hard for a moment and my wings burst forth with a brilliant light.  My body glows and my wings unfold like a fan.
   "Oh my Goddess..." Terrenel is by my side in a second.  "May I...may I touch them."
   I nod, and laugh when he does, it sort of tickles.  "Okay enough, enough that tickles."
   "My love, you have wings."
   "I do."
   "They are beautiful, so very beautiful.  Angel wings..."
   I nod again.  "Yup, apparently I've assumed my Heavenly Host form.  Trust me it was just as shocking to me as it is to you.  And let me tell you, I don't know how you do it...fly that is.  I looked like a fat pigeon flopping around.  I really sucked at flying when Chamuel took me out."
   "Wings..." Terrenel breathes.  "Such beautiful wings."
   "Thanks." Terrenel's face breaks into a brilliant smile.
   "But my love, don't you see.  Now they'll accept you,  there is not impediment to us being together, my nobles will have no choice but to accept you and to acknowledge your—"
   "—Now wait a fucking minute." Suddenly I'm furious again.  "I wasn't good enough for them before, or for you, because I didn't have wings.  But suddenly I've sprouted them like some freaking bird and I'm A-Okay in everyone's book? I don't fucking think so.  I can't believe this." I resume my pacing.  "You're telling me that the 'old' Annora wasn't good enough, but this Annora with wings is great and let's just get married and live happily ever after.  You're delusional."
   "Annora..."
   "No, oh my God I'm so mad at you right now."
   "You're misconstruing my words."
   "I don't think so buddy.  I have excellent hearing, and I heard everything that you said.  Listen if I wasn't good enough for you before my wings, then the hell with you."
   Terrenel looks heartbroken.  "You don't mean that, my love."
   "I do.  I'm not going to tie myself forever, and I do mean forever, to a man who thinks a pair of bloody wings fixes everything."
   "You're being ridiculous."
   "I'm being ridiculous? You're such an asshole, Terrenel.  God why did I even come here.  This was a stupid waste of time.  You're impossible."
   "Annora, my love, I only meant that your wings solidifies your standing."
   "And I'm only saying that it shouldn't bloody matter, you infuriating man."
   "And yet it does," Terrenel says with a deep sigh,
   "And therein lies the issue." I shake my head.  "I'm done with this conversation.  Thanks for clearing up the Briellaa matter, but my position hasn't changed, if anything it's just made me more certain that I made the right decision in ending things with you."
   "Love..."
   "STOP SAYING THAT!" I screech at him.  I was so over this.  "I need a fucking breather I'm done here.  I wish I was with Branuel right now." Terrenel's heartbroken face is the last thing I see before I dematerialize.