We Almost Weren't Liars (We Were Liars)

Old Habbits Die Hard

I woke up alone in my bed, when the night before I was surrounded in people I love. I dragged myself downstairs and found everybody in the kitchen, as if it were Clairmont. Everybody was being a typical Sinclair, big smiles, beautiful faces. Nothing was wrong. We were perfect. Nothing could ever hurt the Sinclair's. There was small chatter between the aunties and granddad. My presence wasn't even recognized. I didn't want it to be. All I wanted to do was watch. My family, my beautiful broken family, they always keep going. It's so wrong.
Gat was the first to notice me. He started to speak and I only shook my head. I laid my head on the door frame. I was so tired. Even with all of the people I love under one roof I was still restless. I wanted to sleep. To bleed. To not wake up. I haven't felt like this since Dad left us. When my heart fell onto the yard. I'm so sick. I'm going to throw up. I turned around to leave when Aunt Carrie noticed me.
"Cadence? Is that you?" Crap
"Yes" I said shortly
"Well how did you sleep, honey?" That was it
"Truthfully Mummy? I didn't sleep at all. And any sleep I did get was haunted with dreams of burning and suffocating. And no, I'm not going to sit up and be normal because it's sick how all of you just sit in here as if nothing has happened! You all quarreled and fought over houses and Granny Tippers stuff, and now that that's burned and half of Clairmont is gone your just going to sit there like we're perfect? Well wake up Mom. This is the real world. People have problems and you can't just ignore them until they go away. And how you and everybody here just stuffs and pretends that everything is okay, make me so physically sick I am 99% sure I am going to throw up." I had never stood up to Mummy like that before. Everybody from Granddad to the cook just stared between me and Mummy. I threw back my chair, stormed out and didn't forget to slam the door behind me.
I ran to the small beach, near Cuddledown. I ran in head first, and dove. A splitting pain erupted through my skull and everything went blurry, even for underwater. I couldn't get my head up, I couldn't breath. The last thing I remember is putting my hand to my head, and it coming off as bright red as the water around me.