Night Lily

4: Again, and Never Again

Lema awoke from the dream to Kalisk standing over her, his hand on her shoulder. He immediately removed it.

"Lema? What happened?"

"You're still here? Kalisk, take a hint and move on. I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are and I don't think I need to. I'm going to get up and start my life fresh." She stood up, reaching her hand out to steady herself on the arm of the couch.

"I don't think you understand how much you cannot do that."

"Then I guess I'll find out." Lema walked to the door quickly, as if she was afraid Kalisk would try to stop her. But he just watched sadly as she left, shutting the door harder perhaps than was necessary. He stared at the door for a good amount of time, while a storm of doubt assaulted him.

***

Her new life started with a cup of coffee. They were selling samples at the local cafe. She figured the park was a part of her old life. She sat, swinging her legs over a bench and humming. She wanted to feel free.

She almost did.

Something pricked at the back of her head though. Like she was being watched. Or had missed some important information.

Or forgotten it.

***

The world was clear to her, deadly sharp, with everything defined in bright colors. She saw everything with new eyes. It was beautiful, and strange.

***

Lema left the park. After the coffee had set in, she had started to become more aware of her dilemma. A new life, a fresh start - all that was great. But maybe there were some parts of her old life that had been important. A place to stay, for example. In the pocket of her leather jacket, she'd found a wallet. It was empty. That was a problem that would have to be solved soon.

She crossed the street, looking carefully at the cars that drove past. When she reached the sidewalk, Lema stopped on the corner. She stared at the book in her hand, not really seeing it. She was alone in the world. Alone, without a place to stay, without money or food...without friends. Suddenly Lema's plan to live her new life with a blank slate fell apart.

Her blank slate wasn't clean, white - it was black. It was impossible to see past it, impossible to rewrite it. Lema was blind in the world.

She wanted to remember.

But time is ironic in that way. Immediately, she thought of Kalisk. She had neglected a chance to remember who she was. Who knows? Memories could have been triggered by Kalisk's stories. Now, when she realized her mistake, she had no way to go back. Lema stood, defeated, by the road. She couldn't even retrace her steps to Kalisk.

It started raining.

And so, this time staring at the slick cement, she crossed the street to the park.

Then she sat on her bench and waited.

She could wait for a while. All she could think of was Kalisk. If he actually cared for her and knew her, he would eventually look for her. He wouldn't give up. Not like she had. And he'd know where to look.

***

Lema kept the book under her jacket until the rain stopped, hours later. When the sun finally reappeared, her dark hair hung in wet strands over her soaked clothes.

For the first time, she thought to look at the cover.

Fall, and Fall Again, said the title. She opened it to the first page.

The chapter heading was titled: One.

Then, taken aback, she looked closer. Someone had written in a fine, red pen next to the chapter title.

ONE warning. That's all you get.
Heart beating slightly faster than normal, Lema flipped through the rest of the book. She found nothing else out of the ordinary. Then she flipped back to the writing. The first thing that came to mind was the accident. Was that the warning? 

Lema closed the book and stared at the empty park. The sky was darkening.