Insanity

Complicated III

"So you're saying is that Mark realize his feelings for me in seventh grade? And I never knew until now?" The rage I feel right now is can't be compared to how I feel earlier.

I have my guess. Who wouldn't? Mark literally act like my freakin' boyfriend every goddamn time. I had to fuckin' remind him everytime that he's my bestfriend and my affair with different guys shouldn't be any of his business but Mark is not your ordinary guy. If he can't stop me, he will stop the guy from approaching me Ofcourse I notice that.

It's just.. I guess I find it amusing, enough to let him do his thing but that's not everyday. I have my time where I need someone's attention, not his.. someone else and he hate that.

He hate that so much.

Until we fought everytime I have my flings. He won't accept it, he can't. And that's what I can't understand, His nothing but my bestfriend. Why do I need his permission?

And as stubborn as me, I didn't stop to the point that he became so much annoying because of my past deeds.

There's this one time, I went to the Headquarters tipsy. Apparently he's been waiting for me and when we meet inside hell happened.

That was the first time Mark and I kissed. It wasn't gentle nor lovely, it's punishing. Ruthless and Hard.

He force his way to me and for goddamn sake, I can't freakin walk for 2 days without experiencing pain. And that's when our set up start, The fuck your bestfriend kind of set up? Messy isn't it?

Laughable even.

But that's not what's important right now.

"I would lose him, Aren't I?"

Kuya Shawn look at me, when our eyes meet I feel the trigger go. My tears flows like a fuckin' river. Nonstop.

"Mica.." I trace his sympathy with his tone, that makes me chuckle.

Smiling softly I force myself to stop crying even if it's getting hard to breath, I smiled.

"Don't you think I deserve this Kuya? I'm.. I'm not good for him, we're not compatible.. he's a good guy."

I remember every time Mark would fetch me from place to place just because my father wouldn't let me drive. He never once complains even if I'm so bitchy towards him.

"He's so good for me. I'm just a che-cheating bitch.. I.. I c-can't."

Even how hard I try to smile and show that I'm fine, I don't have the strength to stop my tears anymore and so I let it out. Kuya Shawn scoop me into his arms letting me cry into his shoulders.

"Y'know what's funny Kuya?" He let me sit into his lap as he brush my hair into a soothing manner.

" I'm not even inlove with him.. he.. he's not even that important to me.. Or is he?"

Kuya let me cry to the point that it tires me out but before I could fall asleep, I heard him mutter.

"But you love him Mic. You just can't accept because you're too broken but I love you my favorite Couz. Sleep tight."

Before darkness engulf me, I onew of one thing.

Well I guess I do. I love him.

•

"We can't tell her Steph! She can't handle it!"

"No Shawn. She's needs to know, Besides she's been a huge ass this past few days. Might as wrll wake her up from being a bitchy brat."

"Kuya!"

"No Shawn. I'm not taking it back!"

"What are you guys talking about?"

I enter Kuya Steph's office since I've been hearing them argue about something which I think is related to me.

I saw Kuya Steph widened eyes and hanging mouth when he heard me.

"Good timing Alvarez." Okay? Al-varez ?

"What's going on? I didn't mess something up did I?"

I feel my heart race with just the thought of seeing my Aunt's face in anger. Okay.. tracing my memory back, beside of few partying and clubbing I didn't do a thing. I'm innocent!

"You're in trouble."

"What the fuck Steph!"

Kuya Steph ignore Kuya Shawn as the later maniacally smile at me.

"Shut up Shawn. Thus girl here has the right to know don't you think so?" It confuse me a lot more.

"Okay What the fuck is going on?" I can't really contain my curiosity mix with nervous anymore.

"Mark left. He's on his flight to Singapore and he's staying there.. for good."

...

Mark? Mark.. M-Mark Jill Austine?

That Mark?

"Steph!"

"I said shut up Shawn! She needs to know and even if we won't tell her she will still find out!"

Their argument didn't reavh my brain it stays as background noise while I'm forcing myself to process what i just heard.

It's been a week since that night on the club, Infront his apartment.

"Ha! Ca-Can you repeat that Kuya? Y-You mean Mark?"

They didn't answer but their silence already answer a lot. This is so funny.

Mark left.. flight.. Singapore..

"Mica!"

I held on the table of Kuya Steph's office to balance myself from my weakening knee.

What..

"So he left?.. after all they will all left."