Autobiography of a Legend

The Quiet Journey

I hate myself for letting Harumi get to me as much as she did in that jungle.

We were only in the jungle for a few days, but it felt like weeks. Of all the things it reminds me of, I have the same feelings about it as when my dad and I were escaping the Golden Master. It was a small period of time that was way longer than I thought it really was. Of course, I think back on that time with my dad and feel happy that I got any time with him. I look back on that jungle, and all I feel is anger.

...You know, the more I really take the time to think about it, I never really spent that much time with Harumi before she turned on us. I spent more time with her as my enemy, than I did with her as my friend. But knowing that all of that time was a lie, makes it hard for me to ever think that I was considering being her friend. Considering being, more than that. I've already said this, but I liked her at first. I'd never felt that way about someone before. I'd never thought of someone like that, and thought about something more than just helping them. And she used that to her advantage whenever she could.

I don't like talking about Harumi, like this. I don't like being angry about her. And I know the more I keep trying to say that, the worse it looks. I don't want to hate someone. I don't want to sit here and feel all this anger towards her. The only reason that I can even talk about this, is because I've told myself that I'm the better person for this. That, somehow, when I told her that I wouldn't give into my hatred like she did, that I meant it. That I can do that. I don't know why, but I sometimes doubt that. I start to doubt that, the more I keep trying to talk about her. And it doesn't help that this was all recent for me. I haven't gotten to think about all this, like I have with my father, like with Morro and Chen. Harumi is, all right now. And knowing that, just makes me start to think that I am being too harsh on her. Because I know that the only reason she ended up like this, was because I did this to her.

But then I think again. I think about what she did. What sort of things that she made me go through. And then I get angry again. I don't want to be angry! I don't, want to be like this. But it's this moment here, this part, that she finally showed me her true colors. That was when I realized that she was being quiet this entire time for a reason.

Ugh, I'm not making sense. Let's just start from after we got out of the mech. We spent the first night with the mech, at which point I left a note for the others to find us. I tried to fix the thing, but I'm not the best with machines. Nothing happened that first night. We were too scared about being in the middle of a dangerous jungle without any sort of mech or thing to help us that it wasn't worth trying to talk. We just huddled down and tried to make it through.

We woke up the next morning with a massive green creature trying to yank the mech out from over us and eat us. My right arm was still busted up from the fall, so Harumi used the map to tie up a sling for me and we ran. We barely managed to get away. I've fought some big creatures before, and I'm pretty sure that it had to be some cousin to the Grundle. ...Which, I don't know why I know what that is. We fell into a pit and let it pass over us. After it was long gone, we decided to try to follow the map.

The first hint that I should've had something was up with Harumi was how she took my sword for me and started cutting through the jungle with it like it was nothing. I didn't care at the time, but she knew how to handle it. We were more focused on just getting through the forest than anything.

There was always something about Harumi that made me think about her. I think at the time, I could feel that there was more to her than she was letting on. She was beautiful, but she was smart too. I never felt like I had to dumb down what I was saying to tlak to her. She knew what to say to make me start to trust her. She knew what I wanted to hear. I wanted to know more about her, though. I knew what she'd told me, but at the time what I wanted to know was more about who she was. I just felt.. .driven, to get to know her.