Autobiography of a Legend

The First Worst Day of My Life

Now, I know that the name of the chapter could be somewhat confusing. After all, it implies that I've had multiple 'worst days of my life' before. I know saying 'worst' implies I'm picking one day from my life to single out. But I'm sticking with it, because well, it often feels like I can take my life and parse it into smaller stories each with their own worst day.

Of course, to talk about that day, I have to discuss something that happened very soon after I was taken in by the ninja: I was captured.

As much as I find it almost infuriating exactly how annoying that fact is, it was entirely my fault. Of course the first thing I did when I got bored was decide to sneak onto a Serpentine bus and go straight to their headquarters. Looking back on it, the plan I used wasn't that much different from what Zane used to get into the Sons of Garmadon. Both of our plans were so similar in fact, I would say that if I hadn't dropped my miracas, I would have most definitely at least lasted until the end of that ceremony. I would have actually pulled off that dumb plan.

Oh, and before I continue with that, I think that I should bring up what I was doing before I was caught. I told Zane originally that I had washed his suit over and over again until it turned white again. I actually got a spare suit from Wu and simply gave that to him and sold the Pink suit to a collector. I know Zane has gotten questions about this before after that collector started showing off that suit. For a few of the readers that wonder why I did that in the first place, I was an immature child who, as I spent the last chapter detailing, wanted attention more than anything else. I was on a pranking spree with all the ninja for the stay I had with them before it was back to being around snakes. The suit actually was actually me making an intentional accident with the laundry, but it worked out for me in the end.

Now that's out of the way, let me go ahead and get back to me being caught. Kai had just dropped me off at an Arcade to go hunt for Samurai X -who was Nya at the time- and of course it just so happened some Serpentine were nearby and traveling to Ouroborus. So I nabbed a nice snake disguise and hopped on the bus. The key element of my disguise was the maracas I constantly let bounce to help sell I was a snake. Solid plan.

When we got there, I ended up in the stands of watching Pythor vie for the title of Snake King. I don't fully understand it, but it looked like a big Slither Pit, which I did understand. I think I was the only one that noticed Skales throwing the match for Pythor, but that might have been because I was so angry at Pythor I wasn't paying attention to him. I think my original plan had been to see what was going on, go home to the ninja and then rub it in their faces that I had done something they hadn't. Of course, then I had to go and drop those dumb maracas while everyone was cheering for Pythor's victory.

Being captured by the Serpentine wasn't as bad as a lot of the ninja assumed it was. I think Pythor was so appalled that I'd so easily infiltrated their ceremony that he kept me alive at first out of spite towards me. Once he got his hands on the map to the Fangblades, the reason for keeping me alive changed. But I was given food when I complained enough, and Pythor didn't dare let any other Serpentine touch me. Only he and Skales were allowed anywhere near me.

The only time I've heard Skales laugh was when he visited me the night of my capture. He thought it was hilarious that I'd been thrown out of the Serpentine three times but still came back for more. That ignored the fourth time I wasn't there to try to make friends, but whatever. I thought Iwas being mature in telling him that, but I think it only made him laugh harder. I just remember he said I was lucky that Pythor hated me so much, or else I wouldn't have been around. Later when I learned more about the Anacondrai, I realized he had been right.

Pythor, however, wasn't angry with me when he talked to me. In fact, he sounded as amused as Skales was. I'm not sure why he was, but it seemed like he pitied me, and keeping me alive was almost his way of indulging that pity. I was a kid at the time, though, so to me it just looked like two guys came into my cell to laugh and gloat at me. Which, they were, but it was for different reasons.