So Silly

But first....

But first, we must go back in time, take off the bandage and reopen the cut of how these heroic c-hurros meant. Mmmhhh churros.
"Arrrrgggghhh!" Said Captain Patch, "You swab the decks harder. And all of ya, Full Mast towards the port. I see a prize!"        Lieutenant Walsh stumbled onto the deck. "But Sir, that's one of the King's treasure boats." "Well, Captain Ignoramus, sorry but I didn't know that. Whatever shall we do?" Sarcastically remarked the Captain.
"Avoid the King's ships and nev-" Said The lieutenant before a great sword slashed his back and he fell as lifeless as a stone.         "Anybody else decide I need testing as the Captain?" Captain Patch questioned.
"No, sir!" Exclaimed every single crew member. Every one of them were too afraid of him to even remotely try to mutinize.
Meanwhile......
"Throw this Stowaway in the prison. And take his weapons." Chirped Captain Javian of the Honorguard.
"Yes, Captain." Said Private Buckman. Before the private could escort him down to the lower deck, a cannon ball flew down and took his head off.
"Pirates!" Screamed the Crowsmen. (Guy in the Crow's nest)
Captain Javian commanded. "Hard to starboard! Prepare your weapons!"
The men readied their weapons, drawing their swords, they mentally prepared themselves for a battle.
"Captain! They're charging us.What will we do?" Said one of the privates.
"Stay anchored, lads, and keep firing." Said Captain Patch.
"Aye, Aye." He replied.
The King's ship was sailing right at them but then it took anchor and swrved around beside it. It was silent for a moment. But then Captain Patch drew his gun and fired at one of the privates. The bullet struck his chest and he fell mortally wounded.
"No parlies, men, and any prisoner that helps win the war is a crew member. Captain of the.... uhhhh Dawnborn. Show your face and surrender your vessal."
"So silly, would it be to fight a honorguard." Replied Captain Javian.
"Oh really now?" Replied Captain Patch. "You haven't happened to have heard of me, have you?" Captain Patch inquired.
"Enlighten me." Javian replied with venom.
"I am Captain Patch Cruickshank of the Valbird and I will kill you if you don't surrender your ship." Roared the Captain.
"Never will I abandon my ship!" Screamed Captain Javian.
Grappling hooks shot unto the King's ship and waves of privateers slid down to the ship and begin the battle. Screams of war and pain alike could be heard but the battle of Javian and Patch was the particular one we will witness. Patch swinged his blade just as Javian raised his shield. The blade deflected off the shield. Javian felt that bang on his arm of pain as a powerful hit shakes the shield. Javian swung his sword aiming for Patch's side but to no avail as he raised his sword up just in time. As Patch was about to swing again, a man fell off the Crow's nest and screamed loudly. Every eye in the battle look up and saw nothing. Suddenly, arrows flung left and right, piercing flesh and gruesomely maiming or killing every victim. Patch drew his gun and reloaded and shot at the nest. The arrows stopped for a moment but then resumed and one pierced Javian's leg.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" screamed Javian as he collapsed.
"Everyone, get down!" Screamed Patch as he dodged a volley of arrows.
Everyone ducked and rolled to the nearest cover or drew their shields. The arrows stopped.     "Johnny, climb up and investigate with caution."
"Right away, Captain!" Responded Johnny. Johnny inched closer with his shield. Out of nowhere from about half the the ladder to the Crow's nest dropped a Elf on poor Johnny with two daggers.
"NO! JOHHNY!" Shrieked his brother.
  With a drawn sword, he charged the Ranger and slashed at him. The ranger jumped up and flipped over his head. He then disappeared. "SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD!" raged the brother. The ranger then appeared in front of him and drew his daggers which he apparantly sheathed.
"Fine, although it's futile." Spoke the ranger softly. Johnny's sword was halfway towards his thigh and then the ranger disappeared into thin air. A scratch appeared on his back and then his chest and then his arm and then his other arm and all of his body, they appeared until he sunk into a human pile. The ranger appeared from a distance. And threw a knife and it punctured his head.
"Bang." Said the ranger softly.
"And who do you think you are?" Said Captain Javian.
"He's a ranger. They possess strange abilities. Invisibility, teleportation, and strange jumping techniques." Analyzed Captain Patch.
"How knowledgeable." Replied The Ranger.
"May we have the courtesy of your name?" Inquired Javian.
"Snoji. Ranger, Former prisoner, and mercenary. Oh, and elf (as he flicked his pointy ears.)  Pleasure to make you acquaintance."
"What are your intentions?" Asked Captain Patch.
"Nothing big, just to kidnap you two captains and then to sail off to the nearest land."
"And how do you propose to do that?!" Interrogated Javian.
"Like this." Replied Snoji. He pulled out two arrows and a vial. He then proceeded to dip the arrows in it. He shot the arrows so they scraped the captain's shoulders and they passed out rather immediately. He ran and punched a guy in the face. The ranger touched the two rather internally confused captains and then disappeared. He landed on the bigger ship as the idiotic pirates and knights, men alike stood confused. Meanwhile, the ranger was under deck putting the rope and gunpowder together. He lighted the rope with a word of magic and teleported back. The ship exploded in a giant fiery explosion. Snoji drove the ship to Ravensport where they drunk and stayed for awhile. And when I say awhile I mean until current time. And this is where I will end the history. Onward with the tale.
Author's note: For those who didn't understand, churros meant hero's. Sorry for the joke if it caused any confusion.