Something To Believe In

Bad Dreams and New Bonds

And where do you think you're going?"

"The, fa, fa, fam, ily reunion."

My mother towered over me. The disgusted look on her face hurt me, all the way through me.

"Oh, I don't think so. Sirius my biggest disappointment, do you really think I'm going to allow you to tag along, so the whole world can see you?" then that laugh, more a like a sarcastic cackle really.

I tried not to cry, really I did. But she was looking at me like that and, and I couldn't help it. I didn't cry out, but the tears I couldn't hold slide slowly down my face.

"Oh for Merlin sake, now you're going to cry? It's your own fault, you don't have anyone to blame but yourself." she kicks me hard in the side, then jerks me up off the floor where I had been sitting against the wall. "no one wants to see your ugly crying face. Take your ass somewhere else."

I start down the hallway, but she's there. My mother she's everywhere. With that disgusted look on her face.

"Sirius my biggest mistake." I heard it over and over, my mother's acidic voice filling me with her hatred. Over and over. Louder and louder. I sit down and tuck myself into a ball. I want to be as small as she makes me feel. With my head tucked away like this her voice doesn't sound so mean. It sound nice, and warm. What's she saying?

"Sirius." Then I feel a hand on my face. And I jerk away. Breathing heavily. The hand pulls away, leaving a warm spot on my cheek briefly. I look up and see Brielle, sitting against the side of my bed. Looking at me with tired eyes.

"You were crying out in your sleep."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," something just dawned on me. "Wait I woke you when in your room a whole floor away?"

She looked embarrassed, and her cheeks got a touch of pink on top. It was adorable. Woah. Where'd that come from?

"I. Uh. Well. You didn't really wake me up. I was already awake. On my balcony which isn't that far from your open window." she explained.

"Oh, yeah that explains it." Sirius? How fucking stupid are you? "So why couldn't you sleep?" She smiled, and laughed a little.

"I super excited Lily's coming tomorrow. I haven't seen her in over a year. We've exchanged a ton of letters, and phone calls. But it's just not the same." she blushed again. "Sorry I'm rambling, I guess I'm just worried we won't friends like before."

I have heard Lily talk about Brie almost constantly tree he past few years. I was amazed when I found out this girl was the same Brie. James' cousins, who truthfully acted a lot like him.

"You know between Lily amd James, I knew about as much about you as I did both of before I even met you. I'm sure Lily is probably wide awake, excited to come tomorrow."

She went onto tell me stories about her and Lily, and how they became friends. She also told me about how she hating living so far away. I don't blame her. After telling me a story about her ranking a couple snooty girls at Beaubaxtons, she yawned.

"Well I think I better get back to bed. I'm sorry I grabbed so much, you've probably been ready to go back to sleep for ages." there's that blush again. She stood up, and made her way to my bedroom door.

"Hey, uh, Brielle. Thanks for not asking me about the dream." I dropped my gaze. "Had it been James, I would have gotten the third degree." She gave me a small smile.

"Yeah, he's good for that." she chuckled, then back her normal tone. "Really, though Sirius, if you ever, you know, want to talk about it." she pauses and shrugs her shoulder. "I'm a good listener. And I can keep secrets."

My breath breath caught in my throat.

"Tha. Thanks. Brie. That means a lot." and  .  it really did. She gave me that small smile again.

"Goodnight Sirius."

"Goodnight Brielle."

She closed the door quietly behind her, I laid awake a while longer. Letting my thoughts run away with me.

I've been with here with James' family for a week now, and I was amazed. Their family was just so completely opposite of mine. Loving, caring, happy, and warm. Whereas mine just wasn't. And they all have just excepted me as if I really were family. It's been so wonderful. But a little bitter sweet. I feel like I'm intruding sometimes. Like I shouldn't be here. And as horrible as they were to me. I still miss them.

I laid there a while longer, just reliving the past weeks moments in my head. I've gotten even closer to James now, and Brielle and Xavier. We all have spent most of the days together. I began drifting off to sleep an hour or so later, I better sleep now. The rest bbc.co of the Marauders will be here tomorrow.