My Never-Ending Trauma

Chapter 1: A Fresh Start

"This is going to hurt," his voice laced with malicious intent.

I feel the cold blade trail down my thigh and then it stops in the middle as his mouth twitches into a huge smirk. The tip of the blade dances in circles on my skin before it plunges itself right into the center of my thigh.

"Lilly! Lily, wake up!" My mom shakes me vigorously.

I wake up sweatily, my pillow fully drenched. My cheeks are stained with tears.

She speaks calmly, "shh, it's okay, you're safe, no one's going to hurt you."

My voice is shaky, "he...he..."

My mom interrupts me, "it's okay, no one is ever going to hurt you again, I promise. We moved, no one will find us here, you're safe."

Of course, she is sure we are safe, but I am not. Ever since that night, I've had flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations, and my life has been a wreck.

"Lilly, it's been a year since that night. It's time for you to start moving forward."

A lump forms in my throat. She is right, it's been a year, and all I have done is think of that night. But I have good reasons; my dad died that night. Intruders came into our house and killed him. I'm still trying to figure out why.

My face is heated now. "You don't know the pain I went through; you weren't there. My dad died, and you are acting like he didn't mean anything!"

"Don't you ever say that again! I loved your father dearly. He just wouldn't want us to weep in our sorrows."

She takes a deep breath and exhales.

"Honey, ...I think it's best if you start school again. You have to graduate high school; you're only seventeen."

"Mom, I'm not ready yet; I still need time to heal. I'm not ready to face crowds of people yet."

"Sweetie, you will never be ready if I don't push you. You start school tomorrow; I already signed you up at Lakewood High."

My mouth opens to protest, but I close it. My face heats up again, and my pulse quickens. Why would she sign me up without even asking? I haven't even had time to get ready to go back.

"I take your silence as a yes you will go?"

I glare at her, then hesitantly nod, "yes, I will go."

Her mouth tilts into a smile, " very good honey, now get some rest; you have school tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

************The Next Day*****************

"Lilly, wake up! You have to get ready for school, or else you're going to be late!" My mom yelled from downstairs.

I groan, shifting in my bed. I couldn't sleep last night; I was scared of having another nightmare. I sit up and get out of bed. I turn on the shower and wait for it to heat up. I only take hot showers. I grab my phone and turn on my song playlist. Singing in the shower is a must.

After a long hot shower, I step into my closet. What to wear. I pull out a plain white tee and a black and white flannel. I grab my light blue denim jeans and chunky white sneakers.

I walk back into the bathroom and look in to the mirror. My hair is a big brown curly mess. I gently comb it and apply some curling cream to define my curls a bit more. I lightly apply some coats of mascara to give my eyelashes a little bit of volume and make my light brown eyes pop. All I need to finish this look off is with a tint of pink lip balm.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs, and the smell of waffles and bacon hit my nose. I follow the trail, and it leads me straight into the kitchen, where my mom is standing preparing breakfast. A grin forms on my face, at least something good came of this day.