Goodbye for good

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I lay in the hospital bed as Michael and my midwife Lynn discuss his excitement for the baby to arrive. Watching this life inside me grow. How could this be? I'm 19 years old engaged and now having a baby. Is this what I wanted?

"Mads?" Michael asked breaking me from my thoughts. "Yeah?" I mumbled staring into his big hazel eyes. "What do you want, girl or boy?" He asked grinning. "I'm not too fussed" I lied. I was desperate for a boy. "I want a girl" he said goofily.

He is so excited for this baby. All I can think about is who's the father. I should be enjoying all this but I'm not, I'm scared incase it's not Michaels baby and he hates me.

We finished the scan and went home. "Buzz" Michael called as we entered our house, Buzz came running from the living room filled with energy. "I'm going for a rest babe" I said throwing down my keys and wandering off upstairs.

I walked into our bedroom and laid down. I turned my head and just stared at the baby's cot. In three weeks our baby will be in there. The closer the arrival draws the more scared I am, what if I'm a bad mum? What if something bad happens to the baby? What if it's not Michaels? So many questions. My eyes closed and I drifted into a light sleep.

I was soon woken up by a light knock at the bedroom door. "Madelyn you awake?" The door creaked open. I lifted my head to see Abby was standing in the door way, I smiled and sat up fully. "Sorry if I woke you, how you feeling?" She asked sitting at the end of the bed. "Hurting, just want this baby out" I leant back against my pillow, attempting to get comfy. "You only have three more weeks till he or she is here, then it'll be worth it" she reassured me placing her hand on my leg.

"Where's Preston?" I asked reaching over to my bedside table for my glass of water. "Downstairs with Dan and Mike having some 'guy' time" she chuckled. "Are the others still coming round?" She asked. I spun my legs round so I was sat on the edge of the bed. "Yeah they should be" I smiled standing up. "Let's go down want to see my little Presy" I said waddling towards the door.

"There he is" I smiled crouching and picking up Preston. "Woah be careful" Michael said rushing to his feet. "Mike chill I'm just picking up a baby" I rolled my eyes sitting down with Preston in my arms. "Awh look at you growing, a big boy now" I babied Preston who's was bouncing up and down giggling.

"Is he allowed some chocolate milk?" I asked Abby. "Yeah but not a lot" she smiled. I stood up still cradling Preston and walked into the kitchen. "Pretty soon you're going to have a little friend, do you want a boy or girl?" I asked Preston bobbing up and down with him as I poured him so chocolate milk. He made a little squeal. "Yeah I want a boy too" I smirked kissing his head. "If it's a boy you can both be best friends, if it's a girl you'll have to protect her for me and Mike, you can be like her brother" I explained I grabbed the bottle and put it in his mouth.

I sat down at the kitchen island. "You're enjoying that aren't you?" I giggled. "Oh Preston James Lewis, you're a very beautiful little boy! Abby and Dan are very lucky to have you, you're such a good boy" I kissed his head. "C'mon let's go back to mummy and daddy" I stood up and took him back to the living room.

I passed him to Dan, "you're gonna make a good mum" he said taking Preston. "Thanks but only time will tell" I smiled sitting back down.

*knock knock*

"I'll get that" Mike stood up and made his way to the door. "Come in come in" I heard Mikes muffled voice. The living room door swung open and Tylar, Ben, Chloe, Tate, Chelsea and Charlie (Chelsea's boyfriend). "Heyy gurl!" Chelsea greeted me with a hug. "Hey princess" I mumbled into the crook of her neck.

"Damn girl, you looking mighty fine to say you're having a baby" Chloe flipped her hair and hugged me. "Hey boo" Tylar greeted me. "Hey Ben" I threw my arms round Ben and hugged him. "Long time no see! How was tour?" I asked pulling away from the hug. "Amazing!" He grinned toothily. "And Charlie, hey!" I spun around to face Charlie. "Hello gorgeous" he kissed me on the cheek.