Ayomiposi Faleye's middle name could be dubbed Insecurity and it would suit her perfectly. Battered by her mother's verbal abuses and her father's abandonment, she longs for something or someone that can fill that void and replace the uncertainty sh...
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? --Psalms 27:1 (KJV)
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Life was definitely filled with varying degrees of ups and downs. Sometimes, you even feel yourself floating midway because you just can't seem to find a place for yourself.
And that was exactly how Posi felt at the moment. She felt like she was floating midway between up, happy about the reconciliation between herself and her mum, and down, wondering just why this piece of cruel information had to come now.
She was seated on the floor. Her face awash with tears. She didn't know what to feel. Why was this happening to her? Why now?
"Ayomiposi darling. Did you sleep well? I tried to wake you earlier so you would eat but you wouldn't budge. Posi?" Her mum's sweet voice called to her.
"When were you planning on telling me, mum? Was that why you have been calling me? Why did you wait for so long?" Posi asked as soon as she could form a coherent sentence. However, looking at her mum's reactions, one would think she was just rambling nonsense. And her mum asked her as much.
"What are you talking about, Ayomiposi? What didn't I tell you?" Her mum looked genuinely confused.
Pushing her right hand which held all the pamphlets towards her mum, Posi screamed. "This, mum! This!"
Then, she dissolved into another round of sobs. God seemed to be testing her faith in Him. But wasn't it too early to start teaching her patience through trials? She was still a new believer. Why was He doing this to her?
Abba, this can't be happening.
Still lost in her weeping, she was startled when she heard her mum chuckle. Her head swung up to meet her mum and another wave of anger washed over her.
"This isn't funny, mum. Not funny at all. You don't care how I feel at all. You never have. And I don't know why I bother." She made to pick up her bag and wear her shoes as her mum trailed after her, telling her to wait.
"What, mum?"
"First, it gladdens my heart that you're calling me mum so lovingly. I'm so happy. But what you're thinking is not happening."
Posi scrunched up her face as she repeated what her mum just said. What I'm thinking isn't what's happening.
"So, what's happening then? Or you dying isn't an important thing?"
"That's just it. I'm not dying."
"But you said you had three months and then I saw the pamphlets and you showed up in Lagos suddenly and this is just too much to t--"
