Forsaking the Alpha

Chapter One - H.O.W.L.

I didn't choose to be a monster, my parents chose to make one.

Imagine you're back in high school, cliques and clubs segregating any individuality a person may have. Back when your life wasn't yours and it belonged to whoever was in charge, whether that be a teacher, a parent, or the wannabe socialite that got to dictate what was considered cool. Then imagine being thrown back into that sea of insecurity. Imagine feeling the weight of everyone's stare crushing any ounce of confidence you have in you. Imagine being made to feel like you're a parasite just for breathing the same oxygen they do. Then imagine living that way for the rest of your life... forever being branded based on where you fall into a spectrum. For me, I was at the bottom of every spectrum. I was a freak.

I grew up quite normally. I lived in a comfortable home, my parents were a lot better than the majority, and for the most part my childhood held my fondest memories. Of course, other kids back then didn't comprehend what I was. It wasn't until I got older that things began to turn sour. It wasn't a transition that happened overnight. It started with innocent teasing, typical childish bullshit, until one day it evolved into discrimination. It wasn't just me either, it was my entire species. All of us were targeted. I can't speak for anyone else's experiences, but personally it started with name calling. Mutt, runt, bitch, freak, monster... I try to keep the details locked away in the deepest reaches of my mind, the parts I try to abandon and escape.

Name calling, however, was just the first phase. Name calling soon turned to blatant taunts. People would toss balls at me, telling me to 'fetch'. They'd scratch me behind the ears and wonder why my leg wasn't twitching. Some of the girls would pull my pants down to see if I really had a tail or if I was growing fur under my clothes. The lengths people would go to in order to investigate me were disturbing. But even as personal and invasive as the investigations got, nothing was worse than the assumptions made about my parents. Boys would walk down the hallway cockily laughing with their group of friends as they asked me:

"So was it your mom or your dad that fucked a dog?"

"Where are the other pups in your litter? Or did you eat them all in the womb?"

"Can I have your mom's number? Any bitch willing to fuck a dog ought to be willing to sleep with anyone."

'Uneducated swine...' is what I wanted to say... but instead I would roll my eyes, quell my temper and calmly respond "that's not how it works." If I was lucky, I'd be able to escape them before they asked me any more accusatory questions. I wish I could say that's as bad as it got but things only escalated through no fault of my own.

Within my junior year of high school a particular news story spread across the country. Soon the story was on every pair of lips in America... regarding a younger werewolf boy. He was in middle school and lived on the other side of the country. His peers surrounded him, taunted him and beat him to try to force him to transform. The poor boy couldn't take the ridicule anymore... He let his wolf out but the anger pent up inside him was released too... His teeth tore into nine other kids that day, leaving six dead and three severely injured. Among the deaths was his younger sister who was there trying to console him, to tame his wolf. She wasn't a wolf herself and just didn't have the strength to sustain such injuries.

Word spread like a disease amongst the wolves. Werewolves know that releasing your inner wolf before you fully mature can lead to consequences like this... It was an unfortunate circumstance but none of us could imagine being able to stifle our anger at such a young age. Such passionate raw hatred and frustration was bound to lead to this outcome. As it was, I struggled too. Keeping such a strong part of you held within is a tough battle to win, especially when others make it harder. There had been a few occasions where I prided on the idea of clawing out someone's eyes and wearing their blood on my fur like makeup... but those are dangerous waters to tread.