Bad decisions

Who is Mr Perfect?

Hi. 

I am the Science teacher and this is my story - since my students are of opinion that I am living a storybook life.
So, my Grade 10 angles - this one's for you, all my drama and happiness, bad choices, good choices, the pain I went through and the good times, all in one document. Although you will never read this... 

What a pity.  

You might learn from my mistakes - whether it is to do better and make better choices, or whether it is to make the same mistakes - because some of my mistakes were and are amazing.  It created me as I am today, and I wouldn’t change one thing from my past - not even the mistakes that made me lose my person.  Without mistakes, you CANNOT grow.

Do my choices make me a bad person? - probably, yes, but… You might also see it as me pursuing things that made me and still makes me happy, and for that, I am not a bad person.  It's your choice how you see me after this story.  However, as you grow up and age, you will start to identify with some of my situations, and it's through this story that I hope you can make more informative choices.

The biggest piece of advice I can EVER give you is to NEVER regret something that once made you happy.  To feel good is a gift, and yes, it comes with consequences, but being happy is such a rare feeling to find.  
Oh yes, before I forget - ONE simple truth that I need you to know, is that life and situations you find yourself in, is more complicated than any adult will ever admit to you.  The complete truth is that we are just like you - children, but with age and more life experience.  We might know better due to experience, but we mostly make more mistakes and bigger mistakes than you do and to be honest, we feel love, hurt, excitement and pain the same way you feel those emotions.

It's so easy to fall and so hard to make the choices that make you a good person in the eyes of the community and family… Remember, just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, the definition of a “bad” person is also in the eyes of the beholder.  Age and experience changes the eyes with which you look at situations. 

My story is going to have a lot of fast forwards and rewinds, I hope you can keep up.

Chapter 1

I am but an average girl.  I didn’t grow up in the city, neither on a farm… I was raised on a small-ish piece of land - about 2 hectares, and I had a GREAT childhood.  I didn't realise how lucky I was until I met Mr Business studies.
During holiday times, me, my brother (Mr Sound), sister (Mrs Math) and two cousins (Mr IT and Mr Porra) played outside on our small farm.  We had 30 something sheep, give or take depending on seasons, about 6000 chickens, a pig, called Nella, 2 donkeys, 4 dogs and an unknown amount of cats - depending on the playfulness of the dogs. Nothing in life bothered us. 

Please note, I’m not a professional writer - so the story might be a bit deurmekaar.  By the way, we have never decided on a proper english word for deurmekaar.  

I will start my life story at the time I moved to town.  My university years might turn out to be pretty uneventful, and the 18 years prior to that were boring, although good, since we lived about 15 kilometers away from town.  
While reading this letter/story, I need you to keep in mind that I used to be super shy and super well behaved. I came from an old fashioned family with strict rules and good morals.  My dad used to be a teacher and he was the head of discipline for 26 years.
On the surface - it seemed as if I always followed the rules and never strayed from the righteous path.  I was well behaved and an academically strong student. I woke up, went to school, went home, did homework, studied, ate and slept.  That used to be my daily routine.  But then, I went to university, and some things changed.  Not much, but I got carried away with what life has to offer without getting hurt and without stepping on toes...

Chapter 2
After 5 years of studies at a well known university, I worked in the same area for a year and then moved to here. 

The life lesson - the things you find most dreadful at the time might turn out to be the best things in life. Let me explain.

A little more than 3 years ago, I got an interview at a High School in town.  I dreaded this interview.  I hated the city and I am an introvert.  I grew up where you can play music as loud as you wish because people live too far away to care, or to hear anything, for that matter.  The most cars you saw was at 5pm when people moved from North West to Gauteng.  If you saw 6 cars in an hour, it counted as rush hour traffic.  Now I had to go for an interview in a big city, at a school surrounded by small houses and shops every few kilometers.  When I was a little girl, you bought what you needed from the Spaza shop until the first Saturday of every month, then you went into town.  I rided on the back of my pig for fun, good grief.  So what the heck was I doing here?? I felt like I will never adapt to working with such a large amount of people and much less adapt to living in a flat that's about the size of my mom’s bedroom!! 
Little did I know how the 2 hours I dreaded would change my life, completely change my life - and that for the better.
My husband took me to the interview.  I hate driving alone and I needed his support.  At this time he was my fiance.  We were early so we sat in the bakkie in the street across the gate.  With my limited knowledge of the dress code of city people, I bought myself a skirt, which I never wore again.  I was so anxious, I wore skinny jeans underneath - the hell alone knows why.  

Next lesson - always be yourself and be honest in an interview - that will land you the job. Say what you want to say, not what you think they want to hear.

Due to the fact that I was anxious and wanted to be a professor or environmental scientist, NOT A TEACHER, I wanted to skip the interview, change my number and just look for a different opportunity.  However, my (now) husband MADE me do the interview.  I didn’t want to be there.  When I applied for the position - forced by my father and aunt to do so -  I even told them that I am NOT qualified to teach physical Science and that I am only qualified to teach Natural science, Life science and technology, hoping that they will throw my CV away.

So naturally, to avoid landing the job, I said what I wanted to say in the interview, not what I knew they would want to hear.  I was determined to sabotage this opportunity.  But life works in strange ways.  Little did I know that this place, our town, is already laid out for me.  This is my destiny.

The next day I got the phone call - I got the job, I am teaching physical science for grade 9s through to grade 12s.  Soon I found a place to live - and this is where the doubtable choices started that lead me where I am today.  The choices that made me both happy and sad, caused me joy and pain, but the choices that I will never change, even if I get to turn back the clock.  I will still spend every hour of every day making the same choices.  For I am happier today than I have been since I was in grade 9 (situation which I will explain later).

My mom and I came to look at the flat in the back of Mr DIY’s yard.  When I got out of the car, I saw him. Let's call him Mr Perfect, which I didn’t know at the time, but would later discover.  He is tall, skinny and somewhat attractive.  You cannot miss his premature baldness, but boy oh boy, did he make an impression.  Being a girl with a fiance, I quickly shrugged the thoughts and went to look at the flat.  This is where I moved in.  
My fiance was still studying and with old fashioned parents, I moved in alone and he stayed close to university, 200 kilos from where we are.  My brother, Mr sound, moved in with me soon after, but was hardly ever home.  I got to know the landlord, Mr DIY, his son, Mr Perfect and his daughter, MY little Ms Sunshine.  Ms sunshine was one of my grade 10 students at the time.  Mr perfect had a woman living with him, and we became friends.  The morning of the first day at my new school, I was so anxious about the new beginning that Mr DIY’s woman came to sit with me, she became like a mom to me, for a brief period in time.  She gave me the courage to suck it up and make the best of the new start.

As time went by, Ms Sunshine became more than my student. She became my friend.  She had a tough childhood, and I became her teacher, mother, sister, friend and confidant.  That's why I call her MY little Ms Sunshine. She means the world to me...

(Next chapter coming soon)