My Only Hope

Chapter 5

As soon as he had walked into my life, J-Hope walked out of it. BTS finished their concert. He and I would probably never see each other ever again. He was probably already on a plane all the way to Korea by the time I made it back to my little apartment that night.

I flopped on my bed, not even bothering to turn on the lights. I was too miserable to get ready for bed anyways. I threw my arm up over my eyes and sighed deeply.

If J-Hope was an average, every-day guy, just like the Hobi he told me he wanted to be with me... It would be so easy to find out his number, to call him and try to make things right. But he wasn't. He was my superstar. And I wouldn't have him any other way.

But now I wouldn't have him at all.

When I got up the next morning, I looked as terrible as I felt. I went to work at the concert hall and help pack up and clean everything from last night's show. But my mind was a million miles away, with a certain Korean idol. I dropped things and forgot tasks and took forever to respond, which was driving Mary and my uncle completely crazy. At the end of the day, he finally had enough.

"I'm sending you back to Oklahoma!" His booming voice shook the ground.

"No uncle! Why?"

"Why?!" He yelled. "WHY? Because you have been doing a terrible job, you don't pay attention to anything ever since BTS came, and you made one of the most famous international idols upset! I don't care if you are family. You're out of here!"

I tried to protest, but I was too tired and miserable to really put my heart into it. Honestly, without J-Hope, what was the point of being in LA anyway? I might as well go back to Oklahoma after all.

So the next day, I got on a plane back home, paid for by my exasperated uncle as part of my "severance pay." When I landed, I had decided that I couldn't go back home. Not yet. I had a stop to make first.

I took a bus to that diner where I had first met him. It was pretty busy, and a trucker nearly knocked me over in his rush to get past me to the bathroom. I shrugged it off and went to the counter in the same exact spot as I sat before.

The same dolled-up waitress came over. "Hey, I remember you! You were the sweet girl with that gorgeous foreign boyfriend!"

I almost burst into tears. "He's... not my boyfriend."

Her face fell. She looked so sorry for me, I had to look away. "Oh, sugar, I'm sorry. I just thought... well, the way he looked at you..."

She was making it worse. I didn't think I could handle anyone else calling me sugar ever again. Even if he did look at me in a special way before, it didn't matter. He never would again. And it was all my fault.

"Tell you what, I'll get you a free coffee, on the house. I wish I could chat with you and soothe your heart, sweetie, but we are absolutely slammed! We just don't have enough waitresses!"

I looked up. "Well, I could help you. I am actually between jobs right now."

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree on a cold, December night. "That would be great! I'll get you an apron! Come on back."

I got up and followed her behind the counter and slipped on the apron, feeling just a little bit better with something to make myself busy. For the next few hours, I took orders and handed out meals. I wasn't as friendly or bubbly as the other waitress, but I was efficient and never messed up an order. Apparently, my broken heart wasn't making me so forgetful as it did yesterday. Maybe this was a good sign. Maybe someday, it wouldn't hurt so much anymore.

Finally, things began to wind down. There were only a few customers after the big lunch rush. I took a deep breath, enjoying the quiet after the hustle and bustle. Then, the bell on the door rang again to announce a newcomer.

I turned around, wiping my hands on my apron miserably. "Hello, what can I get for-" I stopped dead as I saw who was leaning on the counter. My heart throbbed painfully.

It was J Hope. My hope.

He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days. His stylish clothes were wrinkled and his hair was sloppy and messy. But in that moment, I could have sworn I'd never seen a more beautiful sight.

"Can I get chicken noodle soup? With a soda on the side. Actually," he looked deep into my eyes. "Can you make that two? I hope you will join me."

A lump rose in my throat. I nodded and placed the order before coming around the corner to sit beside him.

We didn't say anything for a minute, just quietly eating together. But then, when we were finished, he turned his big brown eyes to me. His face looked so lost and vulnerable. I think my heart broke all over again.

"I need to apologize to you, Lex."

"Wait, what?"

He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "I realized that I... might have overreacted a little. It's not a big deal if you looked me up–"

I put my hand over his and interrupted, "J-Hope, I didn't look you up, I swear! One of the girls I work with was talking about you and I overheard. I know I should have tried to stop her, but I really didn't think it would be so... detailed. And I admit, I really wanted to know more about you!"

His shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I just wish I could have been the one to tell you. And I wish I didn't get so upset. I don't usually lose my temper like that... it's just... you're special to me, Lex. Things with you matter more to me."

I squeezed his hand. "Look, the things she told me are dumb little things. Who cares about your blood type? I want you to tell me all the things, like how you don't usually lose your temper. Or what really matters to you. Those things are important to me. You are important to me."

J-Hope's face brightened. He looked as happy as a kid on Christmas!

I put my hand on his face. "There's my smiley Hope!"

He pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm smiling now that I have my not-suga back in my life. And... and I hope she will stay."

I stepped back a bit to look at him. "Wait... J-Hope, what do you mean by that?"

He exhaled like he was nervous. "I have to leave to go back to Korea with BTS. I'll only be in the States for a few more days. But... but I was hoping... maybe you would come back to Korea with me? I have a condo that I bought a while that I sometimes go to to get away for a weekend, but maybe you could live there and I could just visit you whenever I want? You can study your classical music and we could be together! I know it's a lot to ask for you to leave your life here behind, but would you think about it?"

He said all of this in a rush. His embarrassment and nervousness was just so cute, I couldn't help but smile. "You're saying that I could come with you and live in a luxury condo in South Korea and see you all the time and hang out with superstars?"

He laughed that perfect laugh. "I think that sums it up."

"When do we leave?"