A Nameless Dark

Chapter 16

The forested hills teamed with life around me as I climbed higher, away from the lake and the Compound and the towering pile of failure I'd left rotting on the shoreline. Chill night air cooled my lungs and spread a pleasant numbness through my body. High above, a vengeful moon had torn its way through the clouds at last, and bits of proud, pale light filtered through the pine needles to stripe the ground at my feet. The night soldiered on, heedless of my troubles, deepening to its full strength as I hiked further upward. My legs burned with the effort of the climb, but the pain was a welcome distraction from the realities I was clearly avoiding by wandering off alone. I'd failed at many things lately, but if I could reach the top of this bluff, at least that would be something. A single grain of victory in a desert of defeat.

I crested the final rise and the trees broke away to reveal a breathtaking view of the Wyoming landscape, stark in the rigid moonlight. Rich brushstrokes of evergreen trees painted the open land, contrasting with the craggy stone from which they grew. Dark hollows curled up at the base of every bluff like living creatures, slumbering in the comfort of the shadows that contained them.

I stopped at the highest point I could find and stared out at the beauty of the sight, wishing immediately that I could share it with my brother and sister. Lara would find some meaning in it that I could never think of, somehow offering an insight that was both simple and profound. Samuel would crack a joke and find a way to tease me for my emotional reaction, but his eyes would sparkle with wonder, unable to look away. They would lift me out of the dark place I'd allowed myself to sink into. But they weren't here. I stood alone with my doubts and inadequacies.

I sighed, filling my lungs with frigid air, then watched my breath escape in a rolling puff and allowed my shoulders to sag.

"Okay, asshole," I said to myself, "time to get your crap together."

"You should try bein' a bit nicer to yourself," said a husky Scottish voice from the darkness behind me.

I whipped around to see Lin emerging from the trees, tall and lovely in the moonlight. I recovered from my shock as quickly as I could, turning back around to face the stunning view in front of me.

"How did you find me?" I asked as she stepped up beside me.

"Followed you," she shrugged. "This is quite a lovely view you've found."

"Yes it is." I narrowed my eyes at her. "You mean you were behind me this entire time?"

"No, not the entire time." She turned to meet my gaze. "Some of the time I was in front of you."

Lin's eyes shone with an openness that seemed almost vulnerable. It may have been a trick of the light, but she seemed to be offering something in her gaze, and looking for something from me in return. I froze, unable to speak, failing to comprehend anything beyond my own emotional awkwardness. I had no idea why she'd come or what she wanted from me. Clearly, I had precious little to offer anyone at the moment. After a pause, I turned away, closing the door on whatever I might be feeling for this girl I barely knew.

"So, are you here to bring me back?" I asked.

She didn't answer at first, and when she did, I thought I heard a tiny crack of disappointment in her voice.

"I just wanted to see that you were alright."

"I'll be fine," I said, not at all sure it was the truth.

She nodded, a slight but clear motion in the well-lit night.

"I pushed you into it, didn't I?" She asked. "That little experiment by the lake."

"Maybe," I said, "but it's not really your fault. I thought I could do it, too."

"That's just it, Jonas." She turned to me, drawing me in again with those spellbinding eyes. "Ya can do it. You've done it before. I saw what ya did in that field when you were runnin' from the Wasted. The mountain of ice ya called from the ground."