BBC Ghosts - Captain's History

Six - Midnight Meeting

Word count - 2707

Twinkling, small dots of light filled the black sky and shined down above Captain and Havers. The air was warm, but not uncomfortable, and everyone was asleep inside the house except for them. A reflection of the moon that supplied the beautiful, romantic light could be seen in the two glasses of wine sat on the ground.

Havers and Captain were the only ones awake and outside to enjoy the nicest night of the year, and they were enjoying it with each other. It was the last night they had together - Havers was leaving the next day - and both men were planning on making sure it was a good one.

It was 3 in the morning, so they would definitely not be caught. They could relax, free of worry for now. Captain took a sip of his wine, and smiled at his partner. He was so happy he'd found love, even if it couldn't continue. A lot of people weren't lucky enough to find it, and he'd have memories of it, like this moment, until the day he died.

***

The clock ticked and the main hand clicked mechanically onto 3 am. Why couldn't he sleep? Why did he have to feel this way? Why was it that every time he calmed his thoughts, his head itched, or his feet cramped, or his back stiffened in a way that suggested his body was yearning for him to stay awake and continue contemplating why he felt this way? Why did the blankets itch, or the pillows need fluffing, or the bed turn to stone as soon as he started dozing off?

Thoughts raced around Julian's head, and barely stayed long enough for him to acknowledge them before another thought came and took it's place. But why did he feel this way? And why had he never felt this strongly for someone before? Why had he never felt this strongly for a woman? Why was he feeling this strongly for someone he'd never particularly liked before? Why could he not get the thought of Captain out of his head?

But... he was straight, wasn't he? So why did he like a man? Had he been wrong his entire life? But he liked women, although never as much as he was liking Captain right now. He didn't want to figure himself out, he was happy as he was, but it obviously wasn't the real him. Now that he realised that, he wouldn't be able to forget it.

He sighed, it was very complicated and he felt like he'd been living a lie. He turned in bed from his back to his left side, and started fiddling with his fingers in the hope it would ease this existential crisis. He turned onto his right side, and onto his back again. Nothing was comfortable. Normally he was one of those people who could sleep anywhere and everywhere and in any situation, and would, but that wasn't the case tonight. He sighed again, before sitting up and getting out of bed.

He'd been trying to sleep for hours but to no avail, and it was clear he wasn't going to any time soon so what was the point in trying? He walked through his bedroom door and stood in the hall, wondering where to go and what to do. It wouldn't be fair to wake anyone up, especially Captain since he'd probably had his own trouble getting to sleep, so he needed something silent to do to distract himself. He started to wander around the house in the hope of finding something.

***

Captain sighed as he heard the clock strike 3 am. He'd slept through bomb attacks but he couldn't sleep through a few memories. He'd dozed off a couple of times, but had been woken by bad thoughts of Havers and couldn't get back to sleep now. Not that he wanted to - he'd rather stay awake than see dreams of Havers only to wake up and realise they were memories and not real life.

He sat up, deciding to have a night off of sleeping, and got off the bed (ghosts couldn't actually cover themselves with duvets so they couldn't be described as in bed). He went over to the window and looked out, it wasn't dark to his eyes because there wasn't any light, and it looked quite peaceful. The moon was shining through the layer of clouds that covered the sky, and it made a silvery white colour that was quite picturesque to look at.