Inside MALIVORE | HopexClarke |Legacies

17 | Safe Inside

CLARKE'S POV

My life has been very brief .

I was created,then lived a short time and jumped into this pit like a maniac.When I got out,I stayed dedicated to my motive.I feared my father so much that I believed he would rise someday or the other,so it's better to stay on the winning side.So I gave my all to raise him and not live my own life.So there is nothing worth remembering in this life.No one ever did anything special for me,no one ever told me that they care for me,no one ever showed me that I deserve better,no one gave effort into bringing a smile on my face...except one person.And now she is being snatched away from me again.

All my life if I had one motive,that was getting the approval of my father.But then Hope showed me that there's more to life than trying to please people who JUST DONT CARE and who will never see your efforts.I've lived more life in here with her that I have ever outside.

She cared for me and my happiness mattered to her.She put effort into giving me my best birthday and a Christmas.Nobody ever did that for me.

I know that the way I feel for her,I've never felt that way before for anyone.And I also know that she doesn't feel the same way,her heart belongs to my brother.But above all this,what matters the most to me is that I also have someone who cares for me like this.Someone who can make me feel happiness.A support system.An anchor to hold on to.And that means the world to me.Then why?Why is she suffering now?Why is she being taken away from me?

Hope woke up a couple hours ago and realized that she's in transition.She has disappeared since then,without another word.And I totally understand that,but shouldn't we be sitting down right now trying to find out a solution to help her? Obviously we are not going to sit idle,are we?

I should go find her and come up with a way."Hope!Hope!Where are you?" Don't shout,Clarke.If there really is a monster,it's directly coming your way.

What I hear in return are sobs.Hope is crying.I've never seen her crying because she always puts up this tough facade and never shows her vulnerability.I quietly inch closer to her and as soon as I'm about to place my hand on her shoulder,she becomes alert immediately, "Motus!" I am shoved far away and land on my back.

"Oh my God,Clarke I'm so sorry!I thought it was another monster!" Hope comes rushing to my side and helps me get up. But then I see it,her eyes puffy and red,her cheeks stained with tears.She looks so hurt and vulnerable.I've never seen her this way.

I reach out with my hand and place it on her cheek,"Hope...you've been crying." She seems to realize that and immediately turns away and wipes her face.

"Hope,don't. Don't hide it from me.It's just me...you don't have to conceal anything." I make her face me and look into her eyes.She's in so much pain.

"Come here." I say and pull her into a hug.

"I don't wanna die,Clarke.I've done so little in life,I never even had the thought of dying since childhood because somewhere in my mind I knew that no matter what happens,I still have my vampire side left.Even if I die, I'll just wake up and become an immortal.It'll be hard to accept but at least I will be alive.Until a few years ago when I was on the verge of dying when the Hollow was in me,I had embraced the fact that I was dying.Then my dad and my uncle saved me.So since then,I've never thought much about death,I've always thought that I should make this life worth something,always try to fix when something's wrong,always try to save the day,so that atleast I can live up to even a FRACTION of the sacrifice they did for me.And now...now death has come to take me again.I am not ready,at all.I really don't wanna die,Clarke,I don't wanna die." She breaks down crying again.