Heart Pulled to Pieces

20-Save the last dance for me

“What do you plan to do today?” Beth asked as she got ready for work. I was sitting on the couch in my sweats, my hair tied up sloppily. It ass Friday, a week after my life went to shit, and the start of a three day weekend Frank gave me for covering his shifts. It was not really a break, though. The Bayside mall Christmas party was the following night, and being on the committee meant I had to show up.

“I’m going to sit here and watch TV. Maybe go for a walk, I don’t know.” I said as I flicked through the channels. I hated how daytime television were mostly soap operas and talk shows.

“Any boys coming over today?” Beth asked hesitantly.

I snorted. “Why would they? Rob told me to work on my marriage although he knows I love him. And Eddie not only doesn’t know I’m off today and purposely avoiding the mall, but he thinks that there’s a chance that I’m going to just fall right back to the same emotional space I was before he ripped a part of my heart out.”

“Just part?” She asked mockingly. I rolled my head in her direction.

“Yeah, just part. After all, if he ripped the whole thing out, what would I have given Rob to destroy?” I smirked through the cynicism.   

“Try not to spend the whole day bitter and resentful.” Beth smiled as she heads for the door, trying not to laugh at me.

“I’ll try to try.” I called after her.

I didn’t move for an hour after she left. After the trashy talk show I somehow got sucked into, I decided to try and be productive. I loaded and started the dishwasher, swept, then decided to do some laundry. I headed into my room and went go through the hamper, realizing that it had been awhile since I bothered doing a load or two. There was stuff in here from over a week ago.

As I sorted lights from darks, I stumbled across something I wasn’t expecting: a T-shirt of Rob’s. I remembered him tossing it in the dark, a whim of romance and passion when it felt like we were dying. We couldn’t find it the next morning, and he ended up wearing a dress shirt he happened to have with him to work that day. I lifted the T-shirt to my face, inhaling the lingering scent of his cologne and musk.

It stirred so much in me, giving me an impulse to lie on my bed and curl up with it. I inhaled again, this second breath not as sweet. Stuffed between layers of clothes I wore with him around preserved the scent, but now with the neutral air of my home around it, it was fading fast.

I groaned, dropping the black article on the top of my basket of darks, sniffing it all the way to the washing machine. My last goodbye. I closed my eyes, dropped it into the washer, and poured the liquid soap on top of it before I added the other clothes. Now not only was the smell compromised, but liquid laundry detergent gives me a rash if I handled it too much. I quickly added the other clothes on top, turned on the washer and closed the lid, a heavy wave of sadness crashing down around me.

I headed to the couch, plopped down, and moped.

Just as I got comfy, there was a knock on the door. I seriously contemplate not getting it. After all, Beth and I weren’t normally home this hour of the day. But when the second knock sounded I decided it can’t hurt. Worst case scenario was it'd be a couple of religion peddlers.

I opened the door, greeted by a rust haired god. A religion I could get into. “Hi,” Rob said, standing on my front step while holding two cups of coffee from the cafe. He was smiling, wearing sunglasses but no winter gear. He still had the blue vest from the art store on.

“Hi,” I stepped aside, letting him in. “What are you doing here? You should be working.” I closed the door after taking a quick glimpse outside.