you're in your room and you think you about the times that you've been hurt and it's a trigger and all of a sudden you're not lying down in your bed anymore but you're sitting up with a sudden jolt of energy and not the type of energy you get when you wake up on christmas morning but the type of energy you get when you realize everything is bad and wrong and horrible and your eyes widen even more than they already were and you don't remember when you started crying but you take one look in the mirror and see your stained and flushed cheeks and know that whatever monster snuck into your mind the day you started loving him had taken over your body from the inside out and you're overthinking and your brain's on overdrive and
you
can't
breathe
