By The Way, I Love You

| Chapter 4 |

Miles wasn't sure what had happened on the ride home. Tristan had told him that he was beautiful. He remembered that much. He remembered that the car ride was mostly silent, though Tristan made a joke about decking out his house with pride flags. Miles had laughed. And then Tristan got out of Miles' little Toyota Corolla and walked across the barrier between their two yards and suddenly, he was hidden inside of his house. Miles sat in the car for a minute, thinking, and then went inside his own house for the night. 

That Saturday was quiet. At least, in Tristan's house it was. Tristan's mom was at work, once again, and he was left in the quiet of his empty house to think about the night before. Miles woke up to his little brother running through the halls, giggling with another person. Miles stepped out of his room to see Mikey and a friend of his slam the door of his bedroom. The floor was covered in LEGOS. Miles saw Lilly sitting on her bed, her earbuds in, and she was writing something down in a notebook. He went downstairs where his bigger sister, Charlie, was cleaning the kitchen. She turned to him and smiled. "Mom and dad took Alex to the doctor and then they were going to get groceries and stuff. Mikey's having a playdate and Lilly is waiting for her boyfriend to text her back." She said, starting the dishwasher. Miles sat down at the counter, resting his chin on his hand. All he could think about was the night before. About Tristan and his confession and their car ride, where Miles wanted nothing more than for Tristan to tell him that he was in love with him and that he wanted him to be his. He sighed and Charlie turned to him. 

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Charlie asked, smiling softly at him. She always had a motherly instinct, and it made her very easy to talk to. "I dunno." Miles replied, looking at her. She leaned against the counter, looking into his eyes. They had the same eyes. "You can tell me anything, Miles." She said. Miles sat up, sighing again. Charlie walked around the counter, sitting beside him. "I don't know, Charlie. I don't know anything anymore." He said. She tilted her head and he bit his cheek. "I mean...with Tristan and everything. I hadn't spoken to him in ages. We haven't had a full conversation since Freshman year until this past week. And now he's trying to be my best friend again and he's being sweet and kind and I know he means it but I don't know what to do. It isn't the same anymore." Charlie thought of what to say for a moment, studying the look on Miles' face. She shrugged. "It's going to be different, Miles. I mean...you've both grown so much since ninth grade. You're both taller and cuter. More muscular. More like men, and not preteen boys. And you're less annoying to me, so obviously you've changed personality wise." She said. Miles rolled his eyes, smiling at her. "That's not what I meant." 

"Then what is it?" Charlie inquired, raising her eyebrows. Miles shrugged. "Well, I've never really felt like him this way before. He...I... I just... I think I'm attracted to him, Charlie. In more than a friend way. Like...it's like I've seen him for the first time and I just want him." Charlie raised her eyebrows. "So you're gay?" She asked. Miles shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't know I was. I mean, girls have never been very attractive to me, but I'd never noticed boys before either. Not until Tris. And last night, Tristan told me that he was gay. He was forced out of the closet by his now ex girlfriend and he told me and all I could think about is how much I wanted him to ask me to be his, ya know?" He asked. He felt stupid talking about this, and knew anyone else who asked would've made fun of him, but Charlie wouldn't. She never did. She always listened and gave the best advice. 

"First thing that you need to do is figure out who you are, Miles. And then you decide what you want and you go after it. And then, everything will fall into place." She said. Miles nodded, understanding what she was saying. Everything was processing and he was already thinking about who he was. He wasn't straight. He knew that much. And girls never really appealed to him like boys did. And nobody was as special to him as Tristan. He was sure he was gay, and he knew he wanted Tristan to be his. He just didn't know how to do it. He didn't know how to tell Tristan or what he needed to do. He looked at Charlie and nodded. "Okay, Charlie. I'll figure it out." She smiled and nodded back at him. "Good. And remember that no matter what, I'll always love you and support you. And whenever you're ready to tell everyone else, they'll support you too." She hugged him and he sighed contently, hugging her back. He knew that he'd have to tell his parents, and wanted to tell them sooner rather than later, but the support from Charlie was all he needed right now. 

Miles looked out of the window. His parents were pulling into the driveway. He looked over, seeing Tristan's window. He looked at it. The curtains were closed, and he couldn't see into his bedroom. He went downstairs, his mind running the thoughts over in his head. He had finally decided who he was. He had decided a long time ago. His mom walked into the house and smiled. She grabbed his cheeks and pushed them up. "Look at my oldest son! Do me a favor and carry in some groceries, will ya?" She asked. He grinned at her. "Yeah, sure, mom." He said. He slipped on his shoes and walked outside. 

"Dammit." Miles looked at his dad, who was leaning into the backseat. He walked over to him, grinning. "Dad, did I just hear a bad word?" He asked, looking at his dad. His dad stood up, glaring at him. "Shush and help me get your brother out of the car." He said. Miles chuckled, unbuckling his brother easily. "Dad, how have you had four other kids and still can't unbuckle a car seat?" He asked, handing Alex to Michael. Michael glared at him. "These seats were made by Satan himself. Bring in the groceries, son. I'll get your sisters to come out and help you." He said. He took the baby inside and Miles sighed, going around to the trunk. A box of cereal fell on his feet and he huffed, bending over to pick it up. He put it back in the trunk and a can of soup rolled out, landing on his toes. He kicked it to the side, wincing. "Need any help?" 

Miles looked over towards the voice. Tristan smiled at him from his yard. Miles rolled his eyes and Tristan walked over, grinning at him. "What, are you stalking me or something?" Miles asked. Tristan chuckled. "Last time I checked, we were next door neighbors. I was just coming to get something out of my car. Besides, you look like you could use the help." Miles looked at the trunk of the car. It was packed with groceries. He rolled his eyes and looked up at Tristan. "Whatever you say, Tris." He said. Tristan grinned and they both reached into the trunk, reaching for the same bag simultaneously. Their hands touched, barely so, and they both looked at each other. "No homo..." Tristan muttered, eliciting a forced chuckle from Miles. Their eyes locked for a second before they both looked back at the trunk. Miles could tell that his neck was red and hot and Tristan knew that his cheeks were pink. Thank God he was tan. 

Miles picked up six of the grocery bags, slipping a few onto his arms. He looked at Tristan, who had practically doubled the amount of bags that Miles had. Tristan's arms were covered in bags, and he was carrying multiple bags in his hands. Miles rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Show off..." He mumbled. Tristan looked at him and smirked. "Not my fault you're a fucking beanstalk, Hammond," He replied. Miles refused to be beaten, and put the last few bags onto his arms. They were heavy, and all full of cans and glass jars, but Miles persisted. He looked at Tristan and stuck his tongue out at him. Tristan laughed. "You did NOT just do that. Aren't you like almost eighteen?" He asked. Miles grinned. "Almost. I'm still allowed to act like a complete child for a few more months." He replied. Tristan rolled his eyes, amused, and walked towards the front porch. 

Miles leaned against the front door, pushing it open. He stumbled over the doorway, walking into the house. "Jeez, bud, did you have to do it all in one load?" Michael asked, coming over to help him. Tristan walked in behind Miles, carrying the bags easily. Michael smiled at him and shut the door. "Hey, Tristan! We haven't seen you in a while! Just put the bags on the counters, Tara will put everything up." He said. Tristan smiled. "Hi, Mr. Hammond." He said. Tara came in from the kitchen, grinning. "Did somebody say Tristan? As in, Tristan Stevens?" She asked. Tristan smiled at her and nodded. "It's me." He replied. She squealed. "It's so good to see you again! Just put everything down, I'll put it up." She said, smiling at Miles. Miles nodded, putting the bags down on the counters. Lilly walked downstairs, her phone in her hands. "Thanks for the help, Lilly." Miles said sarcastically, looking at her. She scoffed, looking down at him and walking into the living room. "I didn't know they had gotten home, Miles." She rolled her eyes and he scoffed. "You get a notification when they get home and you never put your phone down, Lilly." She shrugged. "I was on FaceTime." Miles looked at Tristan, who was grinning, and rolled his eyes. "Go shut the trunk. I left it open." He said, looking back at Lilly. Lilly huffed and went outside, slamming the door behind her. "C'mon, Tristan, I want to show you my new tool set." Michael grabbed Tristan and pulled him out to the garage, shutting the door behind him. 

Tristan loved Miles' family. Tristan didn't have a big family, and definitely didn't have a family as large as Miles did. Miles' family treated him like he was a part of the family, welcoming him over whenever he wanted, feeding him and treating him as though he was always there. Even after not seeing them very often for over a year, they treated him like he was still a part of the family. He felt at home with them, and up until this moment had forgotten how loved and important he felt at Miles' house. Even as Michael was rambling on about his new tool set, he felt better than he had all day, though his mind was still focused on Miles. What he wouldn't do for that boy, he didn't know. But he knew that he liked him a lot more than he wanted to.