The best of me

4

Joy

It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but thinking all night about it I decided that this was the best way to get out of my heartbreak and humiliation.
it was clear as air that after this party we could not remain friends.  Not because I don't want to, but it's simply impossible, he found the only girl with whom our relationship is between hatred and the cold war. And actually I didn't wanted to remind friends with him, it would be too much for me.
I wasn't ready to catch them making out or simply kissing somewhere between the bookshelves in the university library.  So I ran away cowardly.  And to be honest, if I had been even a little bit smarter before, I would have to run away too.  After I found out about everything, I still, like a fool in love, believed him, his every word. 
Better to be cowardly than a brokenhearted fool who hates her life.

At the moment, I was gazing at my phone, lying opposite me on the coffee table in my Japanese apartment.  It was still turned off and my hands were itching to turn it on and read all messages and check the voice mails from my friends, but I held back.  The thought that the only person whose message I would like to see could not write to me was frightening.  What am I still thinking about?  Of course he would write, but that shouldn't bother me anymore, I shouldn't think about someone who doesn't belong to me.  Having said this out loud, to make sure that even the walls in my apartment heard my voice, I went to the balcony to take a refreshing breath.
Japan....
This country brought me as much joy as it hurt, but I still hoped like a complete idiot for happiness.  I thought a lot about what happened to me in the past, but this was the only place where I could still live, I had few friends here and an organized life before, it was routine, but I got used to it, as well as to the person with whom I was going  spend my happy ever after.. I shouldn't have remembered him looking at this amazing view that I missed, because now I felt sick and angry. It was enough, I was already broken and this is second time. I sighed and headed to the bathroom to wash off the load I was carried, if it could be washed off.

••• flashback 3 years ago

"See, don't you dare deny the obvious Sooyoung.  Before, you didn't believe me because you didn't see, but now you can see it with your both eyes. What do you say now?" Sana was outraged by her friend's behavior.  Are the lovers so blind that they don't see what is happening right in front of their noses?  She practically forcibly dragged the girl by the hand in the cafe opposite their high school, where her perfect in all senses boyfriend, a liar, was sitting with the girl.

Sooyoung stared at the couple, her eyes filled with tears and the moment she took a step towards them, Sana grabbed her hand.  "You cannot go to them now.  It will be humiliating Soo...There are too many visitors here." Instead of letting her walk up to them and make a scene, Sana snatched out her phone from the backpack and took a couple of pictures.  "Let's go." She dragged her away the same way she brought her there, but this time Sooyoung finally saw the truth with her own eyes.

Sana had suspected Sungjae for a long time, and talked about her suspicions to her friend, but she did not want to believe in every possible way justifying the guy, because he was carrying and perfect boyfriend material.  He just couldn't do something like that, something that would upset Sooyoung. Sana rolled eyes at her friends words.
Several times she noticed him with girls, always different.  She herself was ready to believe that it was only his university friends, but not after the moment she saw him in the car in the parking lot, with one of the girls. It was hard to call them talking because he was practically eating her mouth.
She felt disgusting and bad for her friend.
Sana quickly went back, thinking about what to do with what she saw.  She didn't want to destroy the beautiful pink world of a girl in love, but she seem to haven't a choice.  On the same day, she told about everything, but the bastard managed to assure the girl of his honesty, Sana only regretted that she had not filmed their passionate kisses.  From that moment on, the hatred between her and her friend's boyfriend only grew.