Somewhere along the lines of making this journal, and setting it up, i stopped writing. But i did NOT give up on my wing growth. I'm writing this two years after starting gaining physical progress. Hell- I'm sorry for forgetting about this journal too. (To any who've previously read my entries.) I'm working on being more active. Maybe I'll set this up to be my true journal.
Things that have recently went down while i was away:
- My significant other, Mother, and younger brother all know about my Avian path- and are accepting me despite it.
- I created a Wing subliminal, and I've gotten really good feedback from it. Seeing other people liking the sub makes me happy. :>
- After years of (I don't care what wings i get) i finally believe my wings may be modelled after the white tailed sea eagle. At first i thought they would be like the dark morphed swainson's Hawk- or the griffon vulture- or at least all black with some speckles of tan or blond to match my hair and skin tones-) but these wings match my newer visualisations.
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My progress lately:
- I've gained and felt alot of internal progresses take part! My rib cage felt lopsided for a while, and i felt an odd change in my lungs- this lasted up until my body normalised to the changes. :> I feel absolutely great though! And no worries, this wasn't a medical issue. This also correlated with an ability to take in more air.
- I have sockets being formed, and some other bone like structures that are growing from my wing buds to the sides of my torso (possibly connecting themselves to my body via shoulderblades.)
- slouching seems to come along frequently. (Especially with phantom wings-)
- i am NO longer able to lay against my back. Hell, i have to take the softest pillow i have and lay against it if i want to lay back on the couch.
- if i slightly move in a sitting position, theres a chance my wing buds will not appreciate it.
- sometimes i can note wing spasms-
- Sleep flapping also occurs- it's like sleep walking, but instead, you flap your wings (phantom/ or pre growth) in your sleep in place of walking around.
the journey is long... aching... and gruelling- yeah, i know. (I've been growing for years.) But- to all those who are doubting their journey- DON'T. If you truly have a calling- then you will NEVER give up. Your mind will not give up until you've confirmed yourself as an avian. And the sky will forever sing it's song to you. To those of you who may think "what if I'm not an avian-" you'll know once you try and leave your avian life behind. You'll yearn to come back. Especially once you've started your mental shifting.
And, a note for avians who don't know their wing coloration. Dude- it's okay! I hadn't confirmed mine for the longest time- but it never stopped me from gaining progress.
