Not All of Me

Chapter Two

08/17/21-

Dear diary, it is the next morning before school and today I woke up a bit earlier. That means I have more time to write in you. What I can tell you so far about my day is that I am well rested which is always a good thing.

If you could not tell from yesterday, I will let you know I have too many fantasies. Fantasying is not always a terrible thing because it takes me to a different world. I like when I can imagine different scenarios that could have changed my life.

For example, I wonder a lot what it would be like if I still had my brother and dad with me. When I think about it, it always makes me feel quite happy. I imagine that we would have been a happy family of four and all would be good. Then sometimes I also, think why my dad left.

When I have this fantasy about that it really makes me feel upset. Why did he need to take my brother? It was unnecessary that he took him. I try to put my feet in his shoes, but it just never works.

I look out the window and suddenly realize I am late for school. I run down the stairs put on my shoes and grab my book bag and run to the bus stop. With my mom being at work it is hard for me to keep track of time.

My mom is a nurse, so she takes early morning shifts. Yesterday she took off work so she could drive me. Her taking a day of is usually rarely ever.

When I reach the bus stop, I wait there and realize that the bus has already left because no one is there. I go back to my house open the garage door and pull out my bike. I hop on and I ride to school.

If the bus ride is five minutes, it should only take me ten minutes to get to school. I sometimes ride my bike to school if I am feeling up to it, but usually I am not. Do I know why I hate riding my bike to school? No, I have absolutely no clue why. It is because I hate exercise.

I arrive on time surprisingly and I head to my first hour class; art. The teacher tells us that there will be an assignment due tomorrow and we have all of class today to work on it. The assignment is to draw yourself with things that describe you around yourself and or on yourself.

I decide to draw myself holding up a finger to my lips which is showing that I am different from the other kids in class. It shows my side of selective mutism which is me being quiet and different.

Around myself I decide to draw a fruit bowl because it shows how much I like fruit. I also, draw a monkey to show my favorite animal, and lastly, I draw books on a shelf displaying my books and showing that I love to read.

The general outline is finished in class for me and I will color it when I get home. It is my next period and I hate it too much. I mean there is some explaining I can do. Physical education which in my opinion is the worst class because you get sweaty, hit with balls, and lastly people are always mean in the class. The kids are too competitive is what I mean by that.

Today we are playing dodge ball and I hate it because the rules are to not hit people in the head but, people try to do it on purpose. I notice the team we are up against and it has some of the girls from lunch on it. This cannot be any good because I am sure they will remember me.

I did not fully get a good glimpse for who is on my team or even in my class, but I recognize someone that I met yesterday, Stiles. I cannot believe Stiles is in one of my classes I guess I did not pay too much attention to the people around me, but just roll call to listen for my name.

I wave at Stiles and he comes running over to me. He says, "Hey, Klarissa! I told my mom about what you told me yesterday and she was incredibly happy. So, she found a specialist in the field and they diagnosed her with selective mutism." I gave him a high five because I could not write anything down on paper because I had none.