Her Gift

Out of time.

I stayed curled up crying for so long that I had no idea how much time had actually passed.

I manage to drag myself into the bathroom and stare at my reflection; pale sickly skin, red puffy eyes... I looked like I was on deaths door.

In a bid to relieve some of the pain, or at least to look less like a corpse, I shower, wishing the water could wash away my feelings as easily as it did the soap suds.

When I'm finally dressed I grab my phone and dial the only person who could help me right now, but before I even let it ring I'm already ending the call.

The only person who could help me is Hayden. Not Georgie.

I'm running to my door and clambering into the lift before I realise what it is I'm doing.

Hayden needed me. Even if this was the last time I'd ever see him. Even if he was risking everything by doing this. He was doing it for me. I needed to be there for him. To be supportive. Even if I hated every minute of it.

I'm pounding on Killians door when Brandy opens it suddenly and I almost punch her in the face.

"What the hell Rae?" She shouts, clearly startled.

"Brandy is Hayden here?" I ask, eyes flicking behind her to catch a glimpse. I don't even bothering to apologise.

"They already left. Hold on, let me get my jacket, you don't look in the right mind to be driving." Her motherly instincts kick in when she sees how distraught I am.

"Hurry please. I need to see him before he goes in."

............

It seemed to take twice as long to finally park up outside Killian and Hayden's joint building and I was an anxious, foot-tapping wreck when Brandy finally killed the engine.

I follow her on shaking legs as she directs us with purpose to the west wing that held the operating theatres.

With every swipe of her ID card, the closer I am to getting to Hayden and I pray to anyone listening that I get there in time.

"Brandy? What are-" I hear Killian start, but when he sees me stressing just behind her he stops, he knows what we're doing here.

"Am I too late? Have you already started. Is he..." I feel the tears start to stream heavily down my face. I couldn't live without him.

Killian shakes his head "It's alright Reagan, we're only just prepping. You can go in before we sedate him."

I rush towards the door he's pointing at and practically run into the room. Hayden turns to the sound and I throw myself on him.

"I'm sorry, I never should have ordered you and I never should have let you leave. I love you Hayden. No matter what you do, I will always love you. I don't like what you're doing but I'm not going to stop you. Please, please don't die." I beg, shaking in his arms.

Hayden shushes me soothingly, his hand is cupping the back of my head and his thumb is rubbing against my neck.

"Everything's going to be alright, I promise. I love you too sunshine." He lifts my face backwards so there's enough space for him to kiss the tracks of my tears away.

"I will come back to you and we will grow old together because I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with you." He's filled with such determination and confidence that I try to let it convince me that everything will be alright.

"Please keep that promise Hayden."

He doesn't say any more, just kisses me deeply and I hang on desperately, trying to get as close to him as possible.