Harry Potter Imagines

Remus Lupin - Distance

It had always felt like you and Remus were destined to be. The rest of the Marauders had been sure you'd end up together ever since you'd found Sirius dragging an unconscious Remus up the school grounds after a full moon. You'd wordlessly slung one of Remus' arms around your shoulder to help Sirius carry him, sensing that it wasn't the right moment to ask questions. You hardly left Remus' bedside until he'd been released 2 days later.

From then on you and Remus had been inseparable: rainy evenings spent in the library helping each other revise, misty mornings wrapped up in cloaks and scarves strolling through the grounds, no matter what you were doing being in his company felt as easy as breathing. After a full moon you were still to be found in the hospital wing until he was released, holding his hand and whispering words of comfort while he slept. You knew that your feelings for Remus were more than friendship, but you didn't want to risk losing what you had by telling him, so the two of you stayed friends.

As the war approached, things started to change. Remus started to be distant with you, choosing to spend more time with the Marauders. You figured he just needed some space, but when you left school and joined the Order the distance only increased. He would always volunteer himself for dangerous missions and refuse your help with them. You tried to talk to Sirius about it, but he just brushed you off with an "I'm sure he'll come around."

One dreary Thursday afternoon there was an Order meeting where a particularly dangerous mission was announced. You'd received intelligence of a meeting between Bellatrix and Lucius, and the Order required two members to listen in on the meeting and see what information they could find out. The idea was that the death eaters wouldn't be wise to your presence so no-one would get hurt, but knowing what the death eaters were capable of, this seemed unlikely.

To no-one's surprise, Remus immediately volunteered himself.

"No." All heads turned to look at you. You felt heat rising to your cheeks, but you pushed past it. "You've done too many dangerous missions recently, you need time to rest-"

"Are the death eaters resting y/n? Is Voldemort resting?" Remus stared at you from across the table with such an intensity that it was hard to hold his gaze, but you did it anyway because you needed to look at him as you said what you were about to say.

"Then I volunteer too." His eyes widened in shock for a moment as he processed your words.

"Absolutely not."

"Why?"

"Because- because y/n- you're not strong enough to fight a death eater. You're not capable." He didn't quite meet your eye as he said this, and you tried to ignore the pang in your chest, blinking the tears from your eyes. As you glanced across the table you saw Sirius give Remus a stern shake of his head before turning to look apologetically at you.

"I don't agree with Remus' sentiment. I'd be happy to go on the mission myself if I weren't already carrying out business for Dumbledore at that time, but seeing as I'm occupied, I vote y/n goes. She's a very capable witch and I'd trust her with nothing less than my life." You gave Sirius a grateful nod, and Remus clenched his jaw as murmurs of agreement sounded from around the table.

The rest of the meeting felt like a blur, and as soon as you were dismissed you hurried to your room, casting a silencing charm on it before letting your sobs out.

Why had Remus said that about you? He'd never commented about your skill before. Sure, you didn't get quite the same marks as him in Hogwarts, but you were still a good student and a decent fighter. After all this time, could he not trust you to defend him? To have his back? If that was the case then maybe you shouldn't be on the mission after all. As you were toying with this thought, there was a knock on your door.