Mean Love

Chapter 4

Harry's POV

Ed text me the details on how am I going to go in the hospital without being seen or notice by anyone, since he told me that Louis is alone in his room because her mom and Liam just got home for the night. So now, I'm already in the parking lot sitting on the car while taking a moment and deep breathes before I go inside. This is it Harry don't be a fuckin' pussy! I step outside the car and slam the door shot. As I entered the hospital door my hands started to become clammy and I'm literary sweating even though it's a bit chilly. I walk inside the elevator and push the button to Louis' room floor and for the sake of my sanity I just hum a tune to ease the nervousness inside me. As the number reaching it's destination I started doubting myself if I should do this or not, but for Louis I'll do it before I chicken out I heard the elevator dinged and practically jump from it. I slowly walk down the hall and stop at the door where Louis was. I twist the knob gently not making any sounds in case Louis was sleeping and when the door finally opened that's the time I wished I could never be in this place, I saw him with a tube on his nose to help him breathe, his face is so pale and he looks so small and helpless. I walk slowly around the bed and pull the chair on the side of the bed. I hesitated to hold his hand but I did and slowly lifted my hand over his face to push his hair that slightly covered his face. He looks like an angel sleeping, I didn't know what to say so I just stared at his sleeping figure and keep stroking his hair when suddenly I felt his hand grip my hand. He slowly opened his eyes and as he looks at me his eyes widened maybe because he wasn't expecting me to be there. He took his hand easily and winced because I know he's still in pain. He looks so vulnerable and confuse at the same time. "What are you doing here?" He asked quietly the evidence of tiredness and pain radiates on his face. "I—- uh.. just wanted to see and talk to you.." I stuttered because really by the looks of it I know this will not gonna end well. "And why would I listen to whatever you want to say? Isn't it enough for me to be here for you to satisfy your cruelness?" I can clearly here his hatred on his voice voice damn good job Styles on making Louis hate you. "It's not that Lou" I looked at my lap not having the courage to face him. "Oh then what is it? Because for all I know you could be just telling shit to me to make it more worst than possible right?" He's fuming right now and honestly I don't know how I could tell him what I want because I'm definitely scared of him right now. "No, it's not true! I just needed to make sure you're okay..." slightly getting irritated by the tension between us. When suddenly he laugh so loud and I mean by that laugh I could tell he's crazy. "You're serious right? You making sure I'm okay? What do you think will happen to me? I'm used to be beaten by you if you haven't notice that, every single fucking day you didn't miss to beat me up. You never failed to shout profanities at my face and make me realized everyday that I'm worthless. You of all people wants to make sure I'm okay? Well, now I'll tell you, I will never be okay, I will never amount to anything, I will never be worth for someone because you Harry Fucking Devil Styles ruin my entire life. So now, you know Congratulation you achieved your goal on making my life miserable." All I can see in his eyes was hatred, betrayal, pain and hopelessness. I did that he's no longer there the Louis I love was not there all I could see is a different person. I did this to him, great job Styles you want him to hate now you already did! I slowly got up and tried to reach him but he dodge before I could be near him. "I know I had no right to apologize and say sorry for what I did, there's no excuse for all of that, all I'm asking is that maybe, just maybe someday you'll understand why I did what I do to you. No matter how it cost you, I hope someday you'll see for yourself that somehow I can be forgiven. It's not what do you think it is Louis, I hope I could tell you everything but I can't. All I did was to hurt you right? For now, I'll give you what you want, I'll never hurt you again, I'll never bother you, but please do remember this, I didn't do that to hurt you, there's a reason why and when I'm ready to tell you everything I hope you could finally give me that chance. I wished nothing but for your happiness Lou, and you're wrong you're not worthless, you're everything." I didn't know that I'm already crying so I wiped my eyes and run to the door as fast as could and when I reach the elevator, that's the time my world collapsed around me. Nothing can compare the hurt that I'm feeling right now, knowing that I finally shattered the heart of the only person I love. Is this really the price I needed to pay for the safety of him? I cursed the day that my dad found out that I fell in love with Louis. Now, I lost him and I don't know if I will be able to fix everything. The elevator dinged and I run towards my car and opened the door. As I sat on the driver's seat I knocked my head on the steering wheel and continue to cry until I can't anymore. I slowly looked up and start the engine and drive home. After a 20 minutes drive I got home and immediately got out if the car. I practically run through the door and opened it, as I toed my shoes and run upstairs, enter my room, dive on the bed and started crying again. That's what I did for the whole fucking night. Until I felt tired, thinking how I gonna fix my life and everything I did and especially how will I ever tell Louis that I love him, that's how I actually did until I can't think and cry anymore and felt my eyes drooping slowly until it all went black.

I'm really sorry readers for not updating for so long as I am so busy at my work at school. So please do not be mad, I promise I will update as long as I can, but for now enjoy this chapter. And please do vote if you feel for it. Thank you all so much😍😍😍