Losing Game {Hyunknow} {Minsung} {Hyunin}

I

If I were to tell you the story of my life I wouldn't know where to begin. If I were to talk about the thing and people I loved I wouldn't know what to say. The only thing I know for sure is them. These seven boys who I've adored my whole life. We grew up together facing everything single challenge life had to offer and if I had to talk about something I loved my whole life it would be them.I wouldn't change anything about them because I loved them no matter what and I knew that they loved me. That's why I saved them.That's why I risked my life without thinking for a second. I didn't think of what might happen if I risk my life, I thought about what might happen if I didn't.Because all I wanted was to see them be happy.

But there was a small thing that I left out, a small detail that I didn't think of and that was, how it could affect them? I didn't think about what would be of them if I died. Especially for the two boys I loved the most. Hyunjin and Jisung.

I was so stupid. I couldn't choose between them because I loved them both. I knew that I couldn't have them both but how can you choose between two amazing boys. I did spend time with them and I got to love them. But I couldn't choose. You see here's why:

Han Jisung had this amazing personality. He was always happy and always smiling. Jisung always saw the good in things. He loved to rap and rap. He was also very good at writing.I remember the moment I realized I was falling for him. I told him how I felt and how I wanted him to be with me so he did. We danced around, sang together, and even cooked for all the boys sometimes.Now the first time that we kissed it was perfect. It was late at night and the boys were asleep so we decided to go outside to the pool. We stayed up all night in the pool talking and kissing, and when the sun came up we were both still outside. After that we snuck out a couple of times. We would hang out or simply cuddle in each other's room. And if we felt like it we would snuck out to the pool where we would make out.We spent months together and it was amazing until I noticed something.

Hyunjin had changed. He used to be so close with Jisung and now he didn't even talk to him or me. No one of the boys really knew why. We didn't understand Hyunjin's sudden change so I decided to talk to him.

"Jinie, can I come in?" I asked through the door.

"Go away" He replied.

"Jinie we are all worried about you, please open the door" I said and I heard him walking towards the door. Once he opened the door I saw his face, it was completely red and his eyes were swollen. "Hyunjin what's wrong?" I looked at him and he simply looked away "Jinie would you please talk to me" I said looking at him "Hey, I'm talking. Why won't you look at me?" I said.

"Do you love him?" He replied, looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Do. You. Love. Him?" He looked at me waiting for an answer.

"Hyunjin" I looked at him "Yeah I do" I replied and I saw tears roll down his cheeks.

I didn't understand. I didn't realize that I was hurting him.

"Go" said Hyunjin, looking at me.

"Hyunjin" I said.

"Go!" He yelled at me crying "Just go" he fell on the floor crying.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong Hyunjin" I sat in front of him and once I took his wrist he flinched. And I realized that he had hurt himself so I rolled up his sleeves and I looked at him. He didn't look at me at all, he just closed his eyes. "Hyunjin, why?" I looked at him "What's going on with you? We're all worried and you haven't talked to any of us including Jeongin" I added.

"I just" he looked at me "I have a lot going on" he said closing his eyes again.

"Like what? Tell me so I can help you" I added.